Calvin Tilokee 0:02
Hello and welcome to the midlife crisis podcast. I’m your host Calvin, also known as Revparblems on Instagram. I’m excited to do this talk show with my best friends from high school and college. Steve and Mikko, what can you expect on this podcast? Well, I like to call it a talk show for Men of a Certain Age. We’re not quite old. But we’re the kind of guys that have to make sure we don’t miss our alcohol and a night out, you know, we’ll chat about current events, trending topics, and things that we just need to get on our soapbox about knowing us. We’ll be laughing the whole time. And ladies, don’t worry. If you ever wanted to know what your husband or boyfriend talks about in the man cave. Stick around. Now, keep in mind, we’re old enough to remember when Parental Advisory stickers went on CDs. If you don’t know what CDs are, you’re too young for this podcast. Speaking of which, make sure you have your headphones in. It’s NSFW as these kids say. We’ll be bringing that flavor to your weekly on your way to work while you’re shaving. Or just sitting around wondering why a backer so let’s get this show on the road. Hello and welcome to midlife crisis podcast. I’m your host, Calvin here as always, with my boy Steve and Mikko, bringing that flavor to hear on a weekly basis. On today’s episode, we’re getting romantic. We’re gonna talk about why we got married. Get y’all ready for Valentine’s Day. As always, we’ll be bringing you our Chris Rock quote of the week. I don’t know that shit. I don’t like that jerk and get off my lawn. But first, how was the week fellas?

Steve 1:25
All in all a good week. I had some shitty news last week with a family member. They’re okay. They’re going to be okay. And so my week this week rally pretty well. I’ve got some accolades at work, balanced everything out. Got a trip and I already on the books.

Mikko Miller 1:43
I so.

Steve 1:45
It’s won a trip to Costa Rica.

Calvin Tilokee 1:48
Okay, was that what are the award?

Steve 1:50

Calvin Tilokee 1:51
Nice, man. That’s awesome.

Steve 1:52
Yeah, so I get to go to Costa Rica next year.

Calvin Tilokee 1:55
Yes. What’s up, man? Yo, Dave got to hit him with

that’s great, man. That’s great. You know, it was funny. Last night. I was watching the episode of The Office way it with Dwight. When’s the like? salesman of the of Northeast? Pennsylvania?

Steve 2:13

Calvin Tilokee 2:14
I literally watched it. Last night. Right before bed. That was fucking hilarious. Given that speech, and everybody’s going crazy. It’s a it’s a Mussolini speech. Oh, yeah. That’s great, dude. That’s great. Good shit, man.

Mikko Miller 2:29
Congrats, congrats.

Steve 2:31
Thanks, man. Thanks. And then I also got a triple monitor my desk. It’s really cool. Yeah, nice. I had to get like some wood to balance it all out. So it’ll fit it looks stupid as can be. I mean, triple monitor is just unnecessary. Yeah, I

Calvin Tilokee 2:49
mean, isn’t good would can’t fix. Yeah,

Mikko Miller 2:51
yeah, exactly. No. Good would

Calvin Tilokee 2:59
keep it in mind. This is the marriage episode. And we all been married a long time.

Steve 3:05
That’s how we’re setting this off. We knew it was gonna get weird. You know? All in all a great week. You know? That’s awesome. Yeah, good stuff happen. Good stuff. How about you? Mikko?

Mikko Miller 3:17
You know what? Just trying to stay warm. It was frickin cold in California this week. It hit I think at the coldest that I saw was 32 degrees. What’s in it? Yeah, man. Yeah, man. It was freaking

Steve 3:30
I was getting ready to give you shit. I was getting ready to give you shit like had you seen 50 or 60 degrees. But yeah.

Mikko Miller 3:39
I stepped outside at four o’clock in the morning. 445 I stepped outside and a sprinkler had broken and it was spraying water on my windshield all night. And I kid you not that thing was like a half inch thick of like thickness of ice. That I had to defrost before I went to work. I never had to defrost shit in California. I know what the fucking do you know? Becky’s we have ice cream. we scrape it down. You turn on your car you warm it up. I don’t know what the fuck you’re having the machine like 15 years man. sitting there like what I do just turn the heater on full blast. What the fuck do I do that? That’s what I did. So seriously. I’m not used to wearing a jacket outerwear jacket all week. Like what is this? Yeah, you know, I left the East Coast or this.

Calvin Tilokee 4:22
Yeah. And I’m with Steve I was getting ready to bust your chops but that’s that’s that’s legit cold.

Mikko Miller 4:30
Now that’s that’s fucking free. Especially for California standards where 50 is like freezing and bubble jacket weather for most people. You have 30 days kind of nuts.

Steve 4:40
that’s legit.

Calvin Tilokee 4:41

Mikko Miller 4:42
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. How about you cow. What’s been happening?

Calvin Tilokee 4:46
Well, that’s that’s a that’s a perfect segue because it is official that I will be moving to California later this year. Yeah. How do I get out there? Yeah.

Mikko Miller 5:05
Yeah, man. Yeah.

Calvin Tilokee 5:07
I better bring the heat. I ain’t coming out there for not 32 I stay here for that shit.

Mikko Miller 5:13
fudge. Yeah, man,

Steve 5:19
commonly known as a warm food product. Yeah,

Mikko Miller 5:23
yes, yes,

Calvin Tilokee 5:24
yes. No, but yeah, I’m excited man, my wife has gotten a promotion, which is relocating us all the way to California. So we’ll be in the Los Angeles area. I don’t know exactly we’re yet to figure that out. She literally just signed the offer letter in the last week. So now it’s just figuring out figuring out what’s going to be the best spot for us to live for work and all that. But um, I’m excited. I’m excited. mostly about the weather. Everyone I know that’s moved from the east over to you know, West Coast has never come back. And the reason they’ll come back is the first thing they say is the weather. Yeah, I like that. So

Steve 6:02
that’s fantastic, man. Congrats.

Calvin Tilokee 6:05
Yeah, thank you, sir. Thank you, sir.

Mikko Miller 6:06
So big things coming big things.

Calvin Tilokee 6:09
Yeah. And that. And the other news is, I have just became a co host of the revenue hacks podcast, which is based out of Europe. We stream live on LinkedIn, YouTube and Facebook be every Wednesday morning. So yeah, I’m excited to do that. That’s gonna open me up to a whole new continent. Yeah, my European fan base will get to see me once a week. So nice. Nice. I get a larger European fan base. So yeah, I’m excited about that. That’s gonna suck when I moved to LA though. Yeah, that should. I mean, as it stands now, I need to probably wake up at seven to be ready to go at 730. So as of now it’s 4:40am.

Mikko Miller 6:55
Yeah, I’ll

Calvin Tilokee 6:56
be getting up with me gonna text me I want you guys to text me when you wake up. I got you. Buddy. Yeah, that’s that’s not gonna be for a few months. So you know, we’ll enjoy it while we can. Cool. Cool. Yes, so looks like we all had some some big things going on. Just been a productive week for the midlife crisis podcast crew like it. No. So the topic this week as we prepare you lovebirds for Valentine’s Day, is why did I get married? Which just so happens to be one of my favorite B level movies. You know, those movies? It’s, it’s this one is a Tyler Perry. You know, those movies like they’re not great. But they’re not bad. Kind of like think the best man. You know? Okay, you’re not getting, you’re not getting anywhere near Oscar level acting or even script. But it’s a movie that if it’s on, you’re probably going to watch it.

Mikko Miller 7:57
A best friend’s wedding. Does that count?

Calvin Tilokee 7:59
That counts? movies like that? Yeah. Yeah. You know, they’re like, just good enough. You know, they’re predictable. You know what’s gonna happen, but you still want to watch. That’s true. That’s one of those. But yeah, that’s, that’s a one of my favorite Tyler Perry movies. So gave me the inspiration for this episode. And you know, the good time. And now with the Valentine’s Day coming up. So we’ll just start at the top. So whoever wants to take the stage first, but we’ll just start. How did you meet your wife? And how long have you been together?

Steve 8:28
Well, here’s a quick question. How long have you guys been married? I’ve been married 17 years.

Calvin Tilokee 8:35
I will be married 14 years in April.

Mikko Miller 8:38
Baby shit we’re going on this June will be our sixth year.

Calvin Tilokee 8:42
Nice. Alright. It’s quite a bit of experience.

Steve 8:45
Good, good amount. good amount of years between us all. The old head in terms of being married Allah, I’ll go first. So I met my wife in a college class. It was a summer class. I wasn’t even supposed to take it. There was only three of us in this class. And yeah, I was attracted to her pretty quick. She was the I referred to her as the hot Italian chick in my class.

Calvin Tilokee 9:10
What was the class?

Steve 9:12
DVD authoring? So you know, okay, got an idea. Like how far back this goes. I mean, we were made for this is around this would have been around 2002. Okay, so both of us know how to make something that no one ever uses anymore. That’s awesome. But the marriage is strong, man.

Calvin Tilokee 9:37
That’s, that’s all that matters. At least your marriage is obsolete.

Steve 9:44
Exactly. Far from it. But you know, it was we dated for a year. Then we got engaged. I locked her down pretty quick. We had a first date, which was kind of awkward, but fun. And then the second can date. I mean, I was still painting houses at the time I was in college myself. And I spent an entire paycheck on her. We went to a ton of clubs, just on this like one street in the city we live in and took her out to dinner, all this fancy shit. And as I’m driving her home, I asked her if she was seeing anybody she wasn’t and I go good. Like, you’re not who

Calvin Tilokee 10:24
you are now.

Steve 10:26
That’s what I said.

Calvin Tilokee 10:29
That’s all we boys.

Steve 10:30
That’s what I said to her. She goes, No, you are now. No, I’m not seeing anybody in and yeah, that’s exactly what I said. Then,

Mikko Miller 10:40
smooth, smooth.

Calvin Tilokee 10:42
Just like I said.

Steve 10:44
Let me tell you. I remember she had asked me a couple things. Sometimes she was pretty shy. And I was. I wasn’t as shy but I was shy. And she had asked me a couple of things. And I thought it was really adorable how she was stumbling over the words. And just the awkwardness of it. Not that I was like King stutter or anything. I just thought it was cute. And she was funny. She was really funny. So I mean, I found her physically attractive right away because we just clicked like that. And then she started cracking me up. And I was smitten. I was done.

Calvin Tilokee 11:17
said man,

Steve 11:18
yeah, that was a swept off your feet. Oh, it was crazy. And then again it after that date, I knew that that I had to do something to impress her. So I did Taya cherry stemmen not on the first day.

Mikko Miller 11:38
She was like yes, this is the one and she chose you

Steve 11:43
she’s gonna do it. You got to work with what you got, man.

Calvin Tilokee 11:57
This is an episode. I don’t know if y’all seen it or members episode on The Simpsons where Appu is cheating on his wife with the squishy lady do is a fucking classic it’s it’s in my top five Simpsons episodes of all time. It’s classic. But there’s a part where he doesn’t winter and then she keeps coming in because she’s got a you know, handle the squishy machine. So get he get not see her right. He’s he’s trying to break it off. And he’s trying to tell her that I’m breaking it off. And she’s like, well, you talk, I’m going to help myself to some of this licorice rope. And she puts into she puts a legless rope in a mouth. And just like pulls it out. It’s like script is like as old twirl Deb’s scripts. And he goes mahatama Let me tell you, I gotta watch that shit. That’s just fucking classic.

Steve 12:49
You do that you make direct eye contact? It is over. It’s over. Love.

Mikko Miller 12:59
Oh, my goodness,

Steve 13:00
it’s good times.

Calvin Tilokee 13:02
How do you top that? I don’t think you do we just move on top. But

Steve 13:07
how did you guys meet?

Mikko Miller 13:10
for me was a blind date. My brother. And his fiance at the time had a co worker that they wanted to set me up with and I’m not big on two blind dates for people that know me. I like dated around. I wasn’t trying to lock anything down. But they were like, Oh, she’s a nurse. She’s good. She’s pretty. She’s cute. And I was like, Yeah, whatever. You know, but New Year of 2012. You know, we had agreed because he would like a new year I’m trying something different and never done a blind date before it neither had she and we kind of would we meet that we met at a sushi restaurant. And we just kind of clicked and you know, I say this as a joke, but I’m a little serious. My dream car has always been a black Range Rover Sport HSE I was doing a sign of success would be if I drove a black Range Rover right. And on this blind date, I’m waiting outside. She’s running a little bit late. Who comes strolling in in a shiny black SUV. And oh, it’s a black rings Robin who hops out? my future wife and I was like, yeah, this is the one. This is the one. Yeah, that’s cool. What? She had a good head on her shoulders. She had gone through, you know long term relationships just like I had we clicked we connected. And yeah, a few months later, we were like dating pretty serious. And it didn’t take long before I asked a question but yeah, that was 2012 January New Year’s Day blind date. That’s how we met. Wow. I’ve never done it before. Ever. Never. ever done it again. Yeah, never

Calvin Tilokee 14:58
like it was like that. Bernie Mac A long time ago. Oh, no, no. No, that’s good. Yeah, that’s why you gotta sometimes you just got to step out and do something different and you never know.

Mikko Miller 15:15
That’s true. That’s true. No One No. How about you?

Calvin Tilokee 15:19
Well, I met my wife at work. This was back around like 2002 three, something like that. And I was at my first job reservations manager at a Hilton Hotel. And, you know, I was in my prime back then, boy, you know, anybody at the front desk, checking in and checking out if you know what I’m saying.

Mikko Miller 15:43
Mike Lowery, King.

King daily.

Calvin Tilokee 16:01
Oh, man, man, she is so gonna skip past this part of the episode. So we met, we met at work, and her first day at the job was actually my birthday. So typically, and she was in HR. So this is a whole other reason why we should have never actually been together. But you know, again, it’d be like Mikko take a risk. You know, you never know what could happen. That’s right, though. After lunch, I would always go into HR office because I always had candy. So I go in there, there was like this older Italian lady, I chat with her for a few minutes and get some candy and go back to work. So I go into the office, and nobody’s there, but my future wife. And so I said hello to her. And she was she was really quiet and subdued. So I’m more of an extrovert. So I was just like asking questions. And I sat down, I was like, Oh, is this your first day where you’re from da da, da, da, da. And come to find out afterwards, she thought I was really cocky. By doing that. She’s like, you know, who just comes in somebody’s office and was like, so forward with these questions and just, you know, just sit down in somebody’s office. I’m like, I was trying to be friendly. I didn’t want to just come in and be like, Oh, I don’t know you here, I’m take some candy and get the fuck out. You know, that would have been rude. Plus you what kind of fine. So of course, I might be talking.

Steve 17:20
I can see. I can picture all this going down. And I can see her. Like, I can hear her voice as she’s saying that to you. Exactly.

Calvin Tilokee 17:28
So we met that was October. And because I knew it was her first day. I didn’t talk to her for a while. I didn’t want to seem like you know, one of those shark underwater kind of guys. Like, oh, let me hit on the new girl and whatever. So I was like, let me give it some time. Let us set limits. I don’t want to be perceived like that. So after a while we started. We just started up a friendship. The Office mailboxes wasn’t too far from my desk. So I bumped into her from time to time, you’d say hello. I see her in the cafeteria was just like, you know, we developed a bit of a friendship. And then I asked her out a couple of times, not solo, but like, Hey, you know, we’re all going out for drinks. Do you want to come? She said no. She said no to that twice. I was like I Well, I guess she’s probably not interested. Maybe she just wants to be friends, which is totally cool. But when I really knew that I was interested is she had to leave her someone in her family had some medical issues. And she left for a few weeks. And at this point, we were kind of talking every day. And when she left I was like, Damn, I just I miss talking to her. You know? And when she came back, I said, I’m gonna give it one more shot. I’m just going to ask her, you know, go out to dinner. So one day, she’s by my desk, and we’re just chatting. And I was just like, Hey, what are you doing tonight? And she’s like, nothing like you want to go out to eat? And she’s like, Yeah, and I was like, word that actually happens. You know how like, you see that in the movies? And because I go Really? I like I really did that like Word. Yeah, I didn’t play that off at all. You know, I was like, oh, word. Okay. Yeah, I should guess I should cancel my plans. I expect you to say yes. So yeah, we went out to eat and then had a couple of dates. And this was funny after like, after a few dates, I’m getting ready to to drop her off at a house, right? So I like pull up in front. And she goes, Well, you can’t park here. And you know, you’d like start to say something like my mind started to say, Oh, I was just dropping you. Then the other boys gonna shut up, motherfucker. She’s inviting you up. So I was like, Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, my bad. I didn’t even realize that pulled over at parked and you know, then we spent a lot of time together like she lived near the hotel. So I basically, really quickly almost pretty much moved in. Because it just made sense. It was like a five minute drive from work. And we both worked at the same place. So it was like during the week, I would spend my time there. And we spent a lot of time just talking, getting to know each other and I think that’s why our relationship move through really quickly. Because of that we spend a lot of time together. And just from talking to her about where she had come from and what she wanted to do in life and the things that she wanted to achieve, I was like, Yeah, she’s going where I want to go. And I knew that she would get them with or without me. You know, I knew she was going there. And I was like, Okay. And I’ve always said, I wanted a partner, I want somebody that wants the same things. Not somebody got to drag along, you know, that wants to just kind of sit around and not do anything. All right to be single. So, yeah, it was really quick. I think I knew. It took me a while to say the words, I love you. But I knew probably like three months in, for sure. And about a year later, we got engaged. And then we got married roughly a year after that. And 14 years later, here we are.

Mikko Miller 20:55
Nice. Fantastic. Fantastic.

Calvin Tilokee 20:59
Yeah, man. So we kind of answered this one, as Steve, you definitely did. But what attracted you to your wife?

Mikko Miller 21:07
Oh, you want us all to go? Or do you want Steve to re answer the question?

Calvin Tilokee 21:12
Unless he has a different answer. Yeah. I mean,

Mikko Miller 21:19
now, you know what, I love. The fact that, you know, when I first saw, of course, there’s physical attraction, right? But there’s just something about a woman that just carries herself confidently. And, you know, knowing now what I know, she wasn’t as confident, but she posed herself as being confident. And to me, that’s like the biggest attraction, a woman that is confident that knows what she’s doing. Go get her. I mean, she drove my fucking dream car, right? You know, she works as a nurse. She saves people’s lives on a daily basis. And she just handles her business and to me, other than physical attraction, that type of mental stimulation, like that’s what I go for more than anything else more than anything else. If people know about me more than anything else, it’s the mental simulation that gets to because the physical attraction fades. And then I know that I know that for a fact it fades. Stimulate me mentally stimulate me intellectually, and you got me and she did. So. Therefore, you know how to lock it down, man. I mean, that was it. I was hanging up after that. There was no question I knew. Once I met her, and we started dating. I knew that was easily the easiest decision I’ve ever made in my entire life.

Calvin Tilokee 22:34
Yeah, there you go. You get fantastic.

Yeah. I mean, basically, the same for me. You know, I think I touched on it before, it’s like, we just we spent a lot of time talking to each other and just getting to know who she was and where she’d come from, I mean, to somebody who had left her home country at like 12, and lived in Spain, lived in Ireland, lived in Switzerland. And the reason she even came to be at the same hotel as me in New York, she had done an internship in Florida, she was so she was at this resort in Florida on Captiva Island. And back in whatever year that was, there was hurricane Charley, and that ship came through, and it actually split that island is two different islands. Now, it’s like an epic, you know, like, just completely change the landscape. But she was there when that happened. So she had to evacuate. And then her options were to either go back to school in Switzerland, or to take this this job in New York. So she took the job. And that’s, that’s how we met. You know, and I know sounds cheesy and corny. People talk about fate and whatever, but everything happens for a reason. You know, I think people come into your life for a purpose. And that definitely put us together and I was talking shit at the top of it. I hadn’t been with a girl for at least six months. When when I met her. You know, you know what, when people think I’m a pimp, but I wasn’t. I wasn’t, at least at least not at that point. At least not at that point in time. Hey, let me clarify. Because you know, back on the show, boy. Whoa. That’s another episode. This is this is the romance of a romance. Yeah, we I keep it Tyler Perry.

Mikko Miller 24:16
telepan. No, no Eastern Shore stories on this episode.

Calvin Tilokee 24:19
No, no, no, no, you save that for another one. That’s right. Say that for another one. But um, yeah, I mean, it really is similar to Mikko. I mean, yes. I am obviously physically attracted to my wife, but I think it was just hearing all the experience she had already had in life and the things that she had seen, I mean, somebody went to boarding school, right. And, you know, me and Steven to public school with a bunch of dumb fucks you know,

I love public

Mikko Miller 24:47
school, by the way.

Calvin Tilokee 24:48
Yeah, lay was a non wrong with it. But, you know, most people that had a choice, that’s not where you gonna send your kids. If you had the opportunity, you would send them to better schools. You know, it is what it is. I was like Mikko wants a Range Rover. But you know, you don’t get that right away. You might only afford the monster. I drove a Mazda for nine years. It’s cool. But when I could afford one, I got a Jaguar now.

Mikko Miller 25:13
Fancy ass.

Calvin Tilokee 25:14
Options, baby options. Moving on, you guys know? Yeah, you guys know, I’ve always wanted to travel. I mean, travel is a big thing for me. And all I ever all I ever knew was that I wanted to travel the world and eat, you know, and this is somebody who had who had been around who had seen a lot of the world that I wanted to see and was really committed to maintaining that lifestyle for herself. And I’m down with that because you listen, we get together, we have children, they’re going to be at a level that I wasn’t at. And that was always the goal is you got to raise the bar for for that next generation. And I knew she was going to go there. And she was hot. So I waste no time.

Mikko Miller 26:02
Let’s go

Calvin Tilokee 26:04
there. Yeah. Next up on the board, is how do you guys keep the fire going? So now I realize where that comes from. You know, we’ve you guys have heard we’ve been to Vermont quite a few times this year. And fireplace is a hard thing to manage, bro. Like, do you think like in the in the movies? You figured? Yeah, let me just throw a couple of logs at a fire like that shit. I’m gonna sit here read a book, you got to get up like every five minutes to adjust and make sure that all of this shit is working is enough oxygen getting in? Oh, like what the fuck man? The same as relaxing as it seems. But we both kind of realized like, this is a good metaphor for a good marriage or a good relationship. Like you’ve got to constantly be tweaking it like that fire is always at the bottom. But unless you move things around and bring it up to the top, it fades out.

So how do you guys that enlighten me? Oh, well, I think I mean, you guys bust my chops, and I would bust my own chops. You know, but I don’t watch 90 day fiance because I want to you know, say you know you do things which a woman because that’s what she enjoys. Get a nice gift every now and then. Like, I just random flowers? Yeah.

Steve 27:35
Yeah. Random flowers is a good one.

Calvin Tilokee 27:37
Yeah, random flowers is a good one. That’s that’s obvious thing. You know, but I think it’s just, it’s just like, I make her life. And if she were on this episode, you asked a question of what attracted her to me, she would always say my sense of humor. So I think for us that how it keeps it going, she she’s a much more serious person than I am. And I can feel when she’s getting tense at work, or whatever. And I just, I’ll just say something stupid and make her laugh. And I think that kind of keeps it going for us. And plus, we do a lot of traveling. And even if again, it’s not a big European trip, but we do little things together, we’ll spend weeks a couple years ago, we just randomly went up to this hotel in Greenwich just for a night, just to get out of the house, spend some time together. We dined together a lot. We got to eat, you know, and we just we talk a lot, I think is the big thing. Communication. We talked a lot about the things we’re doing the things we want to do. Chris Rock said, baby, how was your day? Baby? How was your day?

Steve 28:48
You know, you’ve said a lot with that, you know that that makes for a happy marriage and a long lasting marriage. And you know, what I would add to that is to try and keep things interesting. make them laugh, make them blush, that’s another one. Anytime I can make my wife blush, I fucking mother. Oh, I’ll say something. I’ll whisper to her something. And she blushes. It’s like, I got her. Got her. It’s great, great feeling. Just keeping that mood alive. You know that feeling alive from those first couple of dates or anything like that? Anything you can do to keep that spark there. It’s fantastic. And it’s fun to do. Yes, I’m just surprised, like you said with the flowers or, you know, go over the top with something every now and then. It’s good stuff to do.

Mikko Miller 29:36
For us, to be honest. It’s definitely the sense of humor. The laughing I don’t think there’s a day that passes where we’re not just, you know, stomach hurting, out of breath, just like laughing really hard. My wife has a fantastic sense of humor. And you just say laugh, and she’s cackling like, like you wouldn’t believe so much Making sure that she’s not necessarily happy, but just laughing. And a lot of people that know me think I’m serious, but inside the house with my wife, we just kind of like, let it all out. We’re our true selves. And we’re so comfortable with one another that every little thing that we do, makes us laugh. She makes me laugh, I make her laugh. And just that, I think is what keeps like everything on because you know, you’re gonna fight, you’re gonna do all these things. You’re gonna, like, you know, get on each other’s nerves. But if you can make your wife or your spouse or your partner have a hearty laugh, I think it’s like, what helps keep that fire in a relationship going, aside from everything else, obviously.

Calvin Tilokee 30:42
Yeah, man, I agree. I think a sense of humor and being able to laugh with each other is a really underrated part of the other relationship. You know, these younger people, you know, some people, we’ve, I’ve worked with colleagues, you know, you have these girls that are in that, like, 20 to 25 range. And they have that checklist, right? Anybody that ah, got a checklist, oh, he’s got to be six foot two. And he’s got to be muscular. And he’s got to have this kind of card. He’s got to do this. And is that and it’s like, Yeah, he never gonna find out of that shit. Because you know what? That guy’s a douchebag. Yeah. You know, I actually worked for a guy who looked exactly like that, like he was the prototype. What a woman would want He was tall, he was fit, well dressed. Whatever. Fucking asshole. And complete empty barrel. You know? It’s like, you know, like a girl like,

Mikko Miller 31:38
like, shooting blanks. Oh,

Calvin Tilokee 31:46
yeah, empty barrel. But yeah, you know, I listen, that’s the obviously, there’s some good guys like that. But if you’re going in with the wrong intentions, if you’re looking for everything that’s physical, you’re gonna miss a lot of good people. And eventually, there’s one person that, you know, brought this example to mind. She’s found a completely different guy. And years later, she told me she’s like, Oh, no, I’m done with that list. Like all these guys at Dixon’s like gessie Finally, you could save yourself for years. And a bunch of douchebags.

Mikko Miller 32:21
Oh, we could save this for another episode. I can go in on that. man. Man, women that have like, you know, certain set standards and certain things that they look for because they think that’s what the dream guy is. And that’s for another day. We’ll keep this one PG.

Calvin Tilokee 32:37
Okay, okay. And listen, listen, guys do it too. So we just want the Yeah, we do that shit too. A lot of y’all idiots miss out on a lot of good women because you know She don’t She not this size or she not this height or whatever.

Mikko Miller 32:53
Pretty feet boomerang.

Calvin Tilokee 32:55
Right, right, right. Exactly. What she got nice feet.

All right. So here’s the here’s the key question. What’s the most romantic thing you ever did for your wife?

Steve 33:12
Couple things springs to mind. Okay,

Calvin Tilokee 33:15
I know you’d be up there.

Steve 33:16
Yeah, man. I mean, I’ll quickly give two. The first one was how I proposed was pretty romantic. Niagara Falls at nighttime the photos are in the background. I dropped one knee. She freaks out says yes. All that good stuff. That’s how she remembers it. Right? Very romantic. Which she doesn’t remember is that there were two couples full on going at it. down this, we’re like walking towards the falls. And there’s this we’re walking through this park. And there’s just a couple they’re full on going at it on this bench. And I’m like trying to distract her by looking at the falls. And there was another couple doing something off like close by it must have been a popular thing for Canadians to do. But I always thought that that was pretty romantic. But what I did there, and then there’s a couple others spring to mind. But I want to hear what you guys have to say to

Mikko Miller 34:11
mine was how asked my wife to be my girlfriend? Not necessarily. Here’s the proposal everyone thinks the proposals romantic. But we had just a random Saturday. I had booked a reservation at a restaurant or read Dana Point which is like it’s called charthouse. it overlooks Dana Point harbor. So very romantic setting. It’s up on a hill. You park on the top, you walk down these flight of stairs to go downstairs and the restaurant is actually like in the middle of the hill that overlooks all at Harbor. And, you know, we ordered some steak dinners and we talked about like how writing notes and letters is a lost art. So what I did was, I hand wrote like a small little letter and then I think folded up, like in elementary school we used to do these kids like, you know, will you go out with me check yes or no? Yes, I did those things on a card just said, you know, will you go out? Or will you be my girlfriend? Yes or no. And I gave that to her. And you know guys came and served as the food. Everyone was there watching whatever. And it almost seemed like a proposal, but it was just me asking her out to be my girlfriend. And I thought that was pretty romantic. In my opinion, that was the most romantic thing. She might have a different idea, but

Calvin Tilokee 35:27
I have a different one. Yeah. Nice. Great, man. I try. Yeah. That that Mikko magic? That’s right.

Mikko Miller 35:37
No, no,

Calvin Tilokee 35:40
no, no, no, we episode. Well, we don’t have a lot of good luck with romance in this relationship. I have done things. I mean, I’ve written love letters and nice cards and you know, had flowers delivered on a day when she didn’t expect it and you know, at work, that kind of shit. But as you guys would not be surprised to know about me. It’s the fuck ups that sticks in my mind because they’re funny. So the most romantic thing I ever attempted to do, was proposed to her. And I bought the ring. And my wife is the kind of woman who like, I don’t know if y’all remember another good movie, Think Like a Man based off the Steve Harvey Barbie. Yeah, starring Kevin Hart and everything, which is a part in a way he says, The woman is he hasn’t proposed to you yet because you haven’t required him to. So my wife required me to. She basically sent me an email with like four or five rings and was like, whenever you ready, pick one. Man. Yeah, right.

Mikko Miller 36:55
gotta respect that though.

Calvin Tilokee 36:57
Yeah, I was like, damn. Okay. So I did I picked one. And did she didn’t know when aware. But um, we met in Germany, with a family there and everything. And I decided I was going to do it on this trip. And, you know, I did the whole thing. My wife is Russian. So I had to get permission from the, from the parents. I’m trying to do the good old school thing. So I wrote a letter, had her sister translate it. She gave it to her parents and I didn’t get an answer. until dinner that night. So we’re all out to dinner. Of course, my wife is there too. And her dad starts grilling me through her sister. about why do you want to marry her? And I’m like, oh, boy, like we couldn’t have done this off to the side. Like she said, You know, like, what do you want me to say? And then that’s also another question. It’s like, how do you answer that question? You just you love someone you just do? A lot of it is unexplainable. You know? And then my dumb ass decides what I order for dinner. Cory

Steve 38:01
German curry.

Calvin Tilokee 38:02
Remember I said I was in Germany? Not even I was in Boston, Boston, which is like the Hamptons kind of a place. Not even like, say a big city, like knock on Frankfurt assumption of Berlin. No, I’m in the middle of the fucking nowhere, probably closer to blackforest. Well, I know. And I decide I’m gonna get carvery whatever. Curry shrimp, whatever the fuck it was. And on top of that, I’m getting fucking interrogated by a Russian guy, you know? So I mean, Ben Stiller, and Meet the Parents ain’t got shit on me. So I have dinner and then I get a kind of I don’t know if I got a yes from him or whatever. But you know me I got balls. I was like, fuck it. I’m gonna propose anyway. So we get back to the hotel trying to go to sleep. And this car is starting to take effect. So I’m in and out of the bathroom, you know, but for some reason I figured tonight’s the night is when I’m gonna do it. This this, like the stars are aligned. It’s romantic. This is the night that I want to ask this girl to marry me. So I’ve got the ring in my hand laying in bed. I think she’s asleep. So she finally just like laying there quiet. I grabbed her hand and like, slide the ring on there and then turn around. And I wait and a week and then all of a sudden I hear you want to say something? And I was I started mobile some shit out. I don’t know what the hell I said. But I was like, you know, would you like to marry me and I got a yes. And then we went to sleep. But I was hoping she would wake up in the morning and see the ring on her finger and like, you know, be all teary eyed. Oh my god. And, you know, you guys know my wife and those of you out there who may could guess Jean that type. So it was a it was a lost cause. But uh, it’s a funny story. So that was the most romantic thing I ever tried to do. Right now I just go with like, you know, pro flowers or some

Steve 40:08
efforts gotta count for something. Yeah, it

Calvin Tilokee 40:11
got to man. Yeah.

Steve 40:15
Yeah, good for you

Mikko Miller 40:17
pay for efforts

Calvin Tilokee 40:19
you know, but, but for those of you out there who not as adventurous as me, you just want to do something simple. We have a promotion for you for Valentine’s Day, head to 14 a pizza.com. They’ve got a Valentine’s Day package, get a rucola salad, spaghetti and meatballs, so you could get your lady in the tramp on chocolate covered cheesecake and get a bottle of kiante I can’t pronounce the rest of it because I’m not Italian. But I know you say kiante the rest of it. You don’t have to just see for yourself. $120 for this package mentioned this podcast, you get 10% off. You could eat it in the restaurant, or you could get it to take it home and be like me and you know put some some some tea lights, not real candles, the ones that got the little battery in the bottom. I did that once. About time. That was a good night. Yeah, well, actually, I gotta throw that story in real quick. I did that on Valentine’s Day once she was coming home from work. We didn’t have a red tablecloth but but what I do have is a large Arsenal towel. That’s red. Right? So I put that on the table. I got them little tea lights. I put it in water. had them shits going we didn’t have a real champagne, you know like, like a holder but I so I just got a regular bowl. Just like a bowl. You eat the popcorn and put down a table with some ice. Had the champagne. We came in. I put on Kenny G on the PlayStation.

Mikko Miller 41:40
A now. Hey,

Calvin Tilokee 41:43
everything you must I guess you could top that. You can’t

Steve 41:48
lay Casanova over here. You know what, man? My hat’s off to you.

Mikko Miller 41:59
When you play that Kenny G and panties is dropping. That is the definition of Penny drop

Calvin Tilokee 42:09
is ironic cuz they don’t look like he got too many of those.

Mikko Miller 42:17

Calvin Tilokee 42:23
We got we got a couple, a couple left, before we tie up this this part of the show? do you guys feel jealous when other men notice your wife?

Mikko Miller 42:33
No, no. No.

Steve 42:36
I think it’s good. I mean, we’re all animals. You know, someone’s attracted to my wife. That’s fine. I know she’s hot. It’s validating the fact that I know she’s hot. Yeah, there you go. Yeah. It’s like, when you’re in a museum and you’re five you look but don’t touch. Yeah, right. Yeah.

Mikko Miller 42:59
Yeah. And my wife and I have the same rule. You can look can’t touch. And it’s one of those things where I’m not the jealous type I’ve never been, and neither is she. So we just are secure in our relationship that we know. No one’s gonna step outside of our boundaries. So I think right? I mean, how the fuck would I know? But as far as like, other men look at my wife, if she’s not attractive, then that’s one thing. But if you’re dating or marrying someone or married to someone that’s attractive, it’s it’s bound to happen. You just have to be okay with it. You just can’t go knocking people’s heads off or like staring or looking at your wife. I mean, that’s just fucking caveman shit.

Steve 43:36
Yeah, yeah, you’re gonna have a long, long, unhappy marriage if that’s the case. Exactly.

Calvin Tilokee 43:43
You got that? Right. Got that? Right. Nobody likes to insecure man.

Mikko Miller 43:48
No, Nobody. Nobody.

Calvin Tilokee 43:53
Yeah, does actually. Again, I got another story. And too many too many fucking stories. But she comes home one day years ago. And she’s like, you know, I’m going to tell you something. I promise not to get upset. So, you know, usually you start a story with that. It’s like, I ain’t promising shit. I’ll say.

Steve 44:11
For everybody out there. When you start a story like that, you it’s gonna have the exact intended consequences that you don’t like.

Calvin Tilokee 44:18
Exactly. Just tell me the story. And then you know, figure it out.

Mikko Miller 44:21
Yeah, stop. Don’t just tell me.

Calvin Tilokee 44:28
So, turns out, we used to commute together, right. But I don’t know, maybe I was going to a different place that they are was off. I don’t know. She She commuted by itself that day. And she’s like, I’m on the platform. And this guy comes up to me. And he goes, I just want to tell you, I see you every day and you just you so beautiful. And you know, you remind me of Adele You look just like a Adele. So this was about around a time lag of chasing pavements, whatever. If y’all could figure out what year that was. It was around that time. Yeah. And it was a black guy. So I have only need to input that further because for the rest of the story. So, as he’s schmoozing her and trying to impress, and she said, Oh, thank you very much that about whatever. This black girl who’s also always on the same train that we take interjects and goes through this dude, nah, why you got to come to this white girl, she looked good. And he’s like, yo, ain’t even talking to you. So then they start arguing, and my wife just gets on the train. He goes to work. You know, she told me this story. I didn’t know what I felt bad for the dude, I felt bad for them. Because it takes a lot of guts to approach a woman and say anything, especially say what he said. And for that shit to happen to him. I wanted to take him out for a beer. Like I felt bad.

Steve 45:49
Yeah. around them. So you know, it’ll be okay, slugger.

Calvin Tilokee 45:53
Look, yes. Okay, so look, I mean, she she spoken for. I mean, look at me. And look at you. You never even stand a chance anyway, whether that girl says someone or not Yes, no chance. But, you know, I’ll give you credit for swinging for the fences. He tried. He tried. He tried, you know, I feel bad for to do. So if, if at some point, you hear this, and that was you just know, you could hit us up. There’s a beer on us for you. That’s tough. That’s tough. All right. What advice would you give for this Tinder generation for these guys who date on apps and shit like that? What advice you got?

Mikko Miller 46:29
When you’re young? If you guys stop coming to America. So your royal oath, right? knock it out, get it in whatever the expression is the kids use nowadays. Get that out the way Tinder your ass off, swipe left, swipe, swipe right. Whatever the fuck it is. Do it because when you finally find the one, get married, be faithful, because you’ve gotten all that shit out of your system. Don’t go like everyone else marrying, not knowing what it’s like to be inside one. Not knowing what it’s like to be. You know, I don’t want to say the P word. Inside the cat. Get it out there. I mean, they’re all different sizes, colors, fragrances, knock it out. experience it. And then when you’re ready to settle down, settle down. Don’t cheat. Because you’re gonna get caught. Don’t cheat. cheat,

can’t you? You know

Calvin Tilokee 47:27
why? Cuz you don’t get caught you double Oh, seven, you’re gonna get caught. Chris Rock Of course.

Mikko Miller 47:34
Yes. Just get it out of your system. And that’s one of the things that I’m happy that I have done. And I’m gonna toot my own horn here. I don’t feel the need to cheat because I’ve gotten it out of my system. So if Tinder is the way to go, Hey, Tinder your ass off date as much as you want to date but know that when you come into a relationship, just don’t cheat. makes you a better person.

Calvin Tilokee 47:58
Yeah. Well said, Man, I can’t say it any better than that I you know, get it out of your system. Because it’s just, it’s just a bad look for you. I mean, forget what it does to the other person for a second, right? Like, is that how you want to be viewed out there? Like, do you want to be known as that kind of a fuck Boy, you know? And the thing is, right, like, we talked about having that checklist and being you know, only in it for looks or whatever, but that’s okay. When you’re young. If you’re not looking for a relationship. That’s fine. Right? That’s when you do that shit. You know, that’s what your teenager early 20s before or whenever you decide to get married? Fuck it. I mean, if you want to get married at 40 you want to do that shit until 40. That’s fine. I mean, George Clooney was like, What? 50 when he got married, like, spent half his life. Whoa, and, you know, yeah, so He better not cheat. He better got all that shit out of the system. You know, but not that. I think that’s, that’s perfect advice. Just be ready. When you’re ready.

Steve 48:59
Add to that list. Yes, be honest. Because you know, if you want to go and like, have an open relationship or something, if that’s really what you’re into, be honest about it. If you’re not honest about it, then that’s when you get caught up and stuff. Right? You get that feeling that hey, maybe I you know, maybe she won’t notice or, you know, whatever. Who knows. Just be honest. If you’re into an open relationship, or if you’re thinking about it, just be honest. Shit. Now, you got to give someone credit. They’re just trying to be honest with you. And if you’re honest and upfront, from the beginning, you know what you’re getting yourself into. Got to be honest.

Calvin Tilokee 49:38
Honesty is the man.

Mikko Miller 49:40
That’s right. Because whatever you’re into, she got to be into to. Well, I think

Steve 49:48
again, Chris Rock,

Calvin Tilokee 49:50
you know, can’t be like, I’m going to church. We’re going to hit the pipe, relationship and go window.

Mikko Miller 50:00
I can’t stay together forever. I should have saved up for the Chris Rock skit.

Calvin Tilokee 50:08
Oh, no, no. Oh, man. All right, we got two quick ones from the audience. Good audience participation for this episode. This one comes in from y’all probably know her name already. Nicole Gallagher. number one fan. Thank you, Nicole in a marriage. Are they male or female duties? For example, women have to wash dishes. Men have to shovel the snow etc. How do you guys feel about that?

Steve 50:33
Not a happy one. Not having marriage. I mean, like doing something. If you like doing something and the other person doesn’t, that’s one thing. But if you’re like, I’m the guy. You got to do this, this and this. That shifts 50 years ago, man. Times have changed. Especially if you have a kid. If you have a kid, you better start hauling some ass in the slack. Let me tell you, you’re not gonna have a happy marriage. And she’ll cheat on your ass. So we’ll do laundry changing, changing diaper. sort yourself out.

Calvin Tilokee 51:14
You know that Andy had to be on the islands like an Eddie Murphy skit. Or like, an island alone. What to tell him seen in

Mikko Miller 51:30
the sea Steve’s right though Steve’s right there, there shouldn’t be any male female husband wife specified duties. But what we do have at home is whoever cooks the other person cleans up that we we have at the house. That’s no, the man should cook and the woman should wash dishes or none of that shit. It’s just if I cook, you’re cleaning. If you cook Fuck it. I’m cleaning. And that’s it that we live by.

Calvin Tilokee 51:59
Yeah, same here. Same here. My wife does all the cooking I do all the the washing up. And early on in our relationship. That was a topic of conversation because she would she felt that way. She like oh, I’m supposed to do this. And I’m supposed to do that. I’m like, Whoa, no. Like if it needs to be done. Let me know if I got a mop. I’m up. I don’t give a fuck. You know, that’s not how I grew up. We grew up me my brother we had our chores to do. We had to clean our room clean. We just got a floor and whatever that entailed vacuum and sweep and mop. And that’s what it was. You know? Yeah. So a B to D if you want to stay mad. You want to be happy. Pick up a broom of fuck. Yeah. All right. And last one coming in from a boy Eugene. Is it cheating? To watch a show without your spouse? That y’all started together?

Mikko Miller 52:51
My wife with my wife, so she would just come home and you know, ask me Hey, let’s go watch the show. And I’d be like, Oh, I already saw it. And you know, hell hath no fury. Like a woman who’s a Washington episode with you and thinking you guys got something going on together? And you finished like three or four episodes ahead of her now she got fucking catch up. Don’t do that. learn my lesson. Shit.

Steve 53:19
My wife wouldn’t call it cheating. But she would give me that look, that disappointed look like. I like I like doing that with you. And now we can’t do that together. So I would I would get that look. Now, if we’re watching something and she falls asleep in five minutes, I might watch that episode. Not much to be dependent on how good it is. I don’t know. You can catch up. If you fall asleep, you know.

Mikko Miller 53:44
I don’t know. Depends on on the show. Would you pretend like you never saw it when you guys watch it together again the next day? Oh, yeah, I’ve done that. I’ve done that. Like, oh,

Steve 53:55
you have the time that jumping in. You’re looking at him sideways kind of go that way.

Calvin Tilokee 53:59

Steve 54:05
They just said hello.

Calvin Tilokee 54:06
Yeah. Scary. All right. Cool. Now it’s time for

Mikko Miller 54:20

Calvin Tilokee 54:21
I’ll start off because I’ve been I’ve been leading up to this one for a couple of weeks. I told y’all last week that out this week. I you know, get ready for the Super Bowl. Bruce Arians is a jerk. Ah, the head coach at the Tampa Bay Buccaneers can eat a dick. fucking hate this guy. And I’ll tell you why I hate this guy over the past couple of weeks. It really hit me every day, the whole season. I’ve been following the story, obviously. And it just really hit me why I just liked him so much because he reminds me of every egotistical GM I’ve ever worked for. And I’ve had some fucking bad ones. He’s not a true leader. Sometimes, even though you may have the biggest title, he’s the head coach. He’s the first one in a press conference, not at all right? But especially in sports, this is where it’s true. Nobody tunes in to watch the fucking coach. They tuned in to watch the players on the field. It’s very similar to gyms in hotels, and I’m sure in other roles in other industries, you know, those people who are at the desk, people like me, who are bringing in revenue sales, you know, housekeeping everybody else, those are the players, those are the people who actually make it happen. So you need to be, as a leader be able to step back. And you’re not going to get all the credit all the time. But you know what, at the end, if the hotel gets an award, who’s the one who raises the trophy, who’s the one who’s going to get the pat on the back? It’s you. But you have to know as the leader, you haven’t actually done anything. You’ve just allowed people, you created an environment where people can be successful. And he’s been trying to make everything all about him all season. He’s undermined Brady, you know, a couple of times Brady had a bad game or two and he’s like, you know, our quarterback needs to play better. This time. Fucking Brady got Damon, like, has some respect. You’d be calling him out. And then you know, I made a comment recently, I talked about you know, the shit he said about Bill Belichick. Like alluding to the fact that he knows how to manage Tom Brady better than Belichick does. And it’s like, dude, number one, you sound like an asshole for saying that. You just sound stupid. But it’s like, why is that so important to you right now? Why is it so important for you to be getting all the credit? Because everybody knows you. Your team of seven and nine last season before Brady got there? Do we actually think you’re that much of a better coach this year? The one thing that changed was Tom Brady, and you’re in a Super Bowl. It ain’t got nothing to do with you. Shut the fuck up.

Mikko Miller 56:49
Damn. Yeah.

Steve 56:51
Wait out man.

Mikko Miller 56:56
Mine is just okay. There’s this guy named Gary Matthews. He is a COVID denier. So four months while COVID was going on. He was going around telling people you know, take off your mask, hug your kids. Hug your friends, visit your neighbors, eat in restaurants dine in like you know, COVID is not a real thing. This asshole died of COVID he died. Lonely and not to pick on the guy because he’s dead, right? But he died lonely. No one wanted to visit him because all the people that he told that lie to ended up realizing shit COVID is real. And he spent the whole time COVID was around. Just denying and just telling people he doesn’t exist. It doesn’t exist. Hug me visit me at a COVID so f that guy he’s dead. And you know, we don’t want to say mean stuff to the dead. But to promote something like that with no facts. Obviously. He’s living in a fantasy world. Yeah, man. I don’t like that jerk. I forgot like that. Died solo alone. That just, you know, it’s sad, but it’s like, man, if you for being that way, dude. You kind of not deserve it, but you kind of deserve it. Harsh. Oof. Yeah,

Steve 58:17
that’s a good one. minus a is nobody famous. There was a jackass in my city. who led officers on a gigantic low speed pursuit. This silly bitch was was doing 35 to 45 miles an hour on the highway. He was going slow on the highway. And then he takes the thing off the highway and he’s just slowly going through the city with cops trailer. kind of nonsense is that just pull your shirt over? You’re not oj you’re not making a name for yourself. They’re not gonna make a movie after you play some dickhead who stole a pack of Twinkies. And ain’t making it worse. Idiot income on a low speed pursuit? Could you imagine going into the slammer like that? We would you know that, that classic scenario, everybody says they all did something horrible. And then this guy, this kid comes in loose be pursued.

Mikko Miller 59:15
Yeah, man.

Calvin Tilokee 59:16
I was driving on the highway. I was going 36 and 35. Fucking got me.

Steve 59:23

Calvin Tilokee 59:29
Alright, now it’s time for

Steve 59:35
bringing on

Mikko Miller 59:37
all right. Mr. Steve Oh, since Mikko the the resident food guy, I’m gonna ask you a food related question. And because we you know are in this session, you know, you know how it goes. If you know it. You know, if you don’t know it, you got to say I don’t know what I should keeping it real. Right. Which country leads the entire world? in eating chocolates?

Steve 1:00:12
chocolates, chocolates? Are we just talking about like the most amount of chocolate or like, per capita? Or what?

Mikko Miller 1:00:20
Per capita and the most amount of chocolates consumed per capita? You better not be googling that shit.

Steve 1:00:28
I’m not googling it. No, no, no. Luxembourg.

Mikko Miller 1:00:32

Calvin Tilokee 1:00:33
Look, we were close. It What was it?

Mikko Miller 1:00:36
Switzerland? Switzerland.

Steve 1:00:39
That was the other one. I

Calvin Tilokee 1:00:40
was gonna get

Mikko Miller 1:00:42
you we’re gonna get that it’s definitely Swiss. Make a lot of chocolate in Switzerland. Yeah. An average Swiss person eats about 20 pounds of chocolate every year. Holy crap. She’s fucking pounds of chocolate man. They love that shit. They bathe in that shit.

Calvin Tilokee 1:01:07
Yo, sweet. Chocolate. Yeah, man.

Mikko Miller 1:01:10

Calvin Tilokee 1:01:11
Good stuff.

That isn’t good. I would have guessed that. Actually would have guessed that one.

Mikko Miller 1:01:18
You know, it was them with Germany for me because I thought it was Germany at first because I know Germany makes a lot of chocolate and eat a lot of chocolates. But Germany’s number two to Switzerland. It’s a small country.

Steve 1:01:30
Yeah. And that’s what I was trying to go for. When I said Luxembourg. I was just trying to fit in a small country, but it’s all made from it makes sense.

Mikko Miller 1:01:39
Yeah, man.

Calvin Tilokee 1:01:40
There you go. Well, you finally stumped Steve. That’s the first one he got wrong, I think. Yeah, that’s true. That was it. Well

done, man.

Mikko Miller 1:01:49
Bravo, bravo to me.

Calvin Tilokee 1:01:54
It’s time for everybody’s favorite segment.

Steve 1:02:00
It’s snowing where I’m at right now. It just pisses me off is when I shovel all my shit. And I have a long driveway. Now just because the way that the whole house is set up. We shovel wait three hours, and it’s just as if we didn’t even do it. I hate that crap. It does just drive me nuts because the snow was supposed to stop. Otherwise I wouldn’t shovel it like an asshole. Now I gotta go back out there again and do it again.

Calvin Tilokee 1:02:25
That is annoying as fuck.

Steve 1:02:26
It’s annoying to ship.

Mikko Miller 1:02:28

Steve 1:02:29
So that you can get off my lawn.

Mikko Miller 1:02:31
Nice. Mine is okay. Californians aren’t used to snow, rain. Any type of weather does not sunny weather just fucks them up. Driving wise. I’m talking about driving wise, okay. If it snows in Southern California, people lose their goddamn minds. It’s like they forgot how to fucking drive. Let it snow and hit 32 degrees and the roads are wet. And it’s a little icy. People can’t fucking drive. It’s like, it’s like learning to drive all over again. You see people like driving, like Steve said, super damn slow. You know, and the speed limit in my neighborhood. in my neighborhood, the speed limit is 50 miles per hour, which is pretty fast for a fucking neighborhood. Right? It’s 50 miles per hour in the city of Irvine. And you see people doing like 1718 miles per hour because they’re just not used to the icy road condition. I can’t blame them. But at some point, you know, you got to be like 10 miles under the speed limit, which is like recommended. You don’t need to drive 20 miles per hour in the snow, let alone in the frickin ice. It’s not rain, it’s not gonna cause any accidents. But here in California to be honest. 20 miles per hour on an icy road condition is probably more dangerous than any hurricane they’ll hit our shores or any earthquake that’s ever gonna hit our roads because people just can’t fucking drive when it comes to snow and sleet and rain.

Calvin Tilokee 1:03:58
Yeah, I could imagine that you remember back to the shore. We’d get this thing as snow in class will be canceled. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. like that in snow away like you could still see the ground. Yeah, you know, but what what class cancel like You’re serious? Yeah.

Mikko Miller 1:04:15
It’s kind of weird. And the shorts used to well, they’re not used to not to use the snow these the snow allowed to shore in rain. But when you come here, you can see it when it rains people lose the goddamn mind.

Steve 1:04:27
And it rings

Mikko Miller 1:04:29
when it rains.

Calvin Tilokee 1:04:31
Now never rains in Southern California man, Tony, Tony. Oh,

Mikko Miller 1:04:36
is it Tony? Tony, Tony,

Calvin Tilokee 1:04:37
Tony, Tony, Tony. Yeah. Wrong.

I mean, unless that changed since they made the song in the 90s which is possible with global warming and all that but they said it never rains.

Mikko Miller 1:04:52
That’s right. Back in the day, though,

Calvin Tilokee 1:04:58
but mine is real quick. I get off My lawn is people who take themselves too seriously. Because recently, I’ve gotten a lot more involved on LinkedIn because of business and stuff. And I don’t know if you guys have heard about the new app clubhouse? No, no. It’s actually really cool. You guys should check it out. It’s basically think of it like life podcast, basically, it’s it’s all audio, you have to be invited. And like people set up rooms and they talk about different topics.

Mikko Miller 1:05:25
Is that the one that open doors?

Calvin Tilokee 1:05:28
I don’t know if she did or not? I don’t know. Um, Elon Musk was? Yeah. Yeah. So I mean, it is pretty cool. And obviously, LinkedIn is great for a lot of different reasons, right? But like the people who just take themselves too seriously, and act like they given a fucking TED Talk. It’s like, like, Relax, man. Like, Tom, that is my personality, too. I know that, like, I don’t take myself too seriously. You can give a message, you can give up positive, powerful message, while not acting like a stuffed asshole, you know, to be like, everybody’s like, you know, well, what I have done in my years of experience, like motherfucking, you like you’re an intern? You know, you don’t even actually have a job yet. You know, and this isn’t just for them to to apps. I’ve seen it on Instagram, you know, just this guy actually know in hospitality world. He’s, like, he just graduated college. He’s doing an internship with some company. And he’s sitting there trying to give people career advice. You don’t have one,

Steve 1:06:33
man. You know, dating advice. It’s just silly.

Calvin Tilokee 1:06:39
Yeah. And what really gets me is the motherfuckers that quote themselves, right? Like they have a motivational quote, and at the bottom me, like, really?

Steve 1:06:49
I’m so prolific that allow me to quote myself,

Calvin Tilokee 1:06:51
right, right. Like, there wasn’t a good Martin Luther King, quote that you could use as somebody who did some shit. Come on, man, get off my lawn with that.

Mikko Miller 1:07:03

Calvin Tilokee 1:07:07
Time for the Chris Rock quotes of the week.

Mikko Miller 1:07:11
Since we were talking about relationships, I tried to find a quote from Chris Rock that had to deal with relationships. So the one that I did kind of find was, in order for any relationship to work, both people have to be on the same page. Both people have to have the same focus. And we all know what that page is. We all know what that focus is. In order for any relationship to work. Both people have to have the same focus in what’s their focus. That focus is all about her. It’s all about her. It’s true. It’s so true.

Calvin Tilokee 1:07:48
That is true. And you know what I’m going to admit here, on the airwaves, that’d be forgetting that sometimes, and that should get me into trouble.

Mikko Miller 1:07:55
I just me, I

Steve 1:07:57
think a lot of us do that. But yeah, that that’s the dude’s got some sage advice.

Calvin Tilokee 1:08:02
Yeah. Every now and then I’d be feeling like the relationship is supposed to be 5050. And then I get reminded.

Mikko Miller 1:08:13
Oh, man, I got another one.

Calvin Tilokee 1:08:14
Yeah, he’s he’s got some good relationship. One, man, go for it.

Mikko Miller 1:08:19
Have you ever made a mistake of going on a double date with the perfect couple? You’re in the middle of your bullshit relationship and you actually sit down with two people that are actually in love. You can’t even eat your food because you can’t believe what the fuck you’re witnessing. You got your fork in hand like oh shit. He’s really listening to what she’s got to say.

Wow. They really like being around each other. Man. We can’t hang out with them. No mo they gonna break us up. led? I can’t let these happy motherfuckers fuck up my life.

Calvin Tilokee 1:08:55
Chris Rock. I’m sure he’s got millions of relationship ones but Oh, yeah. This one is my all time favorite. relationship. One Two he’s ever done. Yo, marriage is tough man. Marriage is real fucking tough. Marriage is so tough. Nelson Mandela got a divorce. Nelson Mandela got a fucking divorce. Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in a South African prison, got beaten and tortured every day for 27 years and did it with no fucking problem. Made to do hard labor in 100 degrees south african heat for 27 years did it with no fucking problem. He gets out of jail after 27 years of torture, spent six months with his wife and said I can’t take this shit. No more

Mikko Miller 1:09:47

Calvin Tilokee 1:09:52
No, I die every time. Yeah, man.

Mikko Miller 1:09:56
That one is funny. That one’s a good one.

Calvin Tilokee 1:09:58
That’s a good one. All right, shout out. We got another five star on iTunes. Review comes in from Evmo12 I know who that is. So shout out EvMo. I am a female listener who loves this podcast because these three men talk about relevant topics in the culture, the workplace, and more and sprinkle into natural humor and jokes. I laugh out loud during every episode. And always pick up a new tip and different perspective. Keep the new episodes coming, guys.

Steve 1:10:29
Thank you.

Mikko Miller 1:10:30
Thank you. Thank you.

Steve 1:10:32
Oh, yeah, that’s great.

Calvin Tilokee 1:10:33
Shout out Mo. As a reminder, if you leave us a five star review, you are automatically entered to win a free tumbler with all of our faces on it. So what better way to start your day, better way to hydrate yourself by looking at these three sexy motherfuckers right here. So the winner will be announced in the February newsletter. So make sure you’re subscribed to the newsletter, and you get a chance to win a tumbler.

Mikko Miller 1:11:00
Nice and nice.

Calvin Tilokee 1:11:02
So outro time this is Calvin as always, you can find me on Instagram at Revparblems travels growth ref par media, or just head over to revparblems.com and this is Mikko to Filipino you can catch me on Instagram at Mikko underscore eats.

Steve 1:11:20
Hey everybody, this is Steve you can hear me every week on the midlife crisis podcast with Calvin Mikko.

Calvin Tilokee 1:11:26
right thank you for joining us on another episode of midlife crisis podcast. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please leave us a review on iTunes and you may get a shout out and a chance for some pre merge. See what we’re up to in between episodes on Instagram at midlife crisis podcast and twitter at midlife pot. Show Notes for this and all episodes are available on midlife crisis podcast.com sign up for the mailing list, get yourself a discount. Drop us a note let us know what topics you want us to discuss. Thanks for tuning in, and we’ll catch you in the next one.