Calvin 0:02
Hello and welcome to the midlife crisis podcast. I’m your host Calvin, also known as Revparblems on Instagram. I’m excited to do this talk show with my best friends from high school and college. Steve and Mikko, what can you expect on this podcast? Well, I like to call it a talk show for Men of a Certain Age. We’re not quite old. But we’re the kind of guys that have to make sure we don’t mix our alcohol on a night out, you know? We’ll chat about current events and trending topics, and things that we just need to get on our soapbox about knowing us. We’ll be laughing the whole time. And ladies, don’t worry if you ever wanted to know what your husband or boyfriend talks about in the man cave. Stick around. Now, keep in mind, we’re old enough to remember when Parental Advisory stickers went on CDs. If you don’t know what CDs are. You’re too young for this podcast. Speaking of which, make sure you have your headphones in. It’s NSFW as these kids say. We’ll be bringing that flavor to your ear weekly on your way to work while you’re shaving or just sitting around wondering why your back hurts but let’s get this show on the road. Hello and welcome to midlife crisis podcast. I’m your host Calvin here as always, with my boys Steve and Mikko, bringing that flavor to ear on a weekly basis. On today’s episode we will be discussing blending in, we have all been the new person in a situation and we’ll talk about how we dealt with that. And of course, we’ll bring you our Chris Rock quote of the week and as always, get off my lawn. But first, how was your week? fellas? How’s it going?
Steve 1:26
Great week it dragged ass. But it was a great week. I find the week after a three day weekend is just a bear to get through. agreed it was good, but it just dragged.
Calvin 1:37
Agreed. I feel the exact same way actually.
Mikko 1:40
My week went by okay. We sent a lot of our work clockwise. We sent a lot of our employees home this week, they’re gonna be doing a remote work from home. So about 75% of our department is out of our building. So that was a little bit of a hassle but now that they’re not there. It should be nice and smooth.
Calvin 1:58
Okay, nice. That’s good. It’s interesting that that’s happening kind of this late in the game with everything.
Mikko 2:04
Yeah, we were a little bit behind plus with 51 people in a warehouse we had to really get the social distancing down and just couldn’t get everyone spaced out far enough to where like our leadership, which is like this is okay, so they just said send everybody home. Okay, yeah. Fucking COVID
Calvin 2:22
Yeah, still hanging around
Mikko 2:24
like herpes.
Calvin 2:25
No, you know, I stopped myself from going there this early in the episode, but
Mikko 2:36
you know how we do?
Calvin 2:37
Yes, we do. That’s how we do on this podcast. So you know, y’all know what kind of episode is gonna be. We start off on that note, but I’m similar to Steve this week. Although it felt like it was a short week it dragged, you know, this was kind of a tough one. I guess it was just getting back in the swing of things. But um, the highlight of my week was we were part of a CSA, which I believe stands for community shared agriculture, Google that check that out at your local farms, if there’s any farms in your area, you guys can join that. And on a weekly basis, they give you whatever they have. That’s fresh on the farm for that week. So every Friday, I go to pick that up. And it’s become a nice little routine, because they’ll give you a bunch of stuff. But then they also allow you to just go and pick from certain things like some weeks, it’s blackberries or apples or whatever they got. So went up there did my thing this week, in the last few times I’ve gone it’s kind of been like a nice, Zen relaxing place for me, like I’ll take a lunch, I’ll sit at the picnic table and just eat and relax before I do all of that and then come home. So I get up there. I got my lunch and everything ready to relax. And then there’s this table of kids, like across the way from me, and they’ve got to be in that like 15 to 18 range somewhere in there. But they obviously got there. So I’m assuming they’re at least 16 because they drove there like how else would you get to the farm right? And I’m just hearing this noise on their phones. Like they’re just sitting there watching videos and I’m going to give you all early get off my lawn in this episode because all right I’m sitting there like Yo, they’ve invented headphones for a reason every single one of those fucking phones you’re holding came with headphones use them. Besides that, I’m definitely going to be on my old man shit right now. Dude, y’all came out here to sit and watch each other play on your phones. The fuck are you doing? Walk around the farm pick some shit or talk to each other God sakes if y’all were talking to would bother me less. But I’m sitting there trying to chill relax, enjoy a nice picnic lunch that I packed myself. And y’all out here looking at fucking tic toks on speakerphone. Come on, man. We doing this episode backwards. But shit. I had to get that off my chest. But don’t worry. I don’t worry. I still got one for later. Y’all gonna like it. They’re gonna like it. It’s kind of a call back to a previous episode. for our long standing fans. Yeah, so y’all got something to look forward to. But we’re going to jump into the topic, which as we discussed, is going to be blending in. And we’ve all come from obviously different backgrounds, which we’ve gone into, and have been the new person in different situations. So just kind of talking about those experiences. So Steve we’ll let you kick it off.
Steve 5:21
Yeah. So again, for anyone who’s new, Caucasian background, grew up in the Midwest, and we’ve all had those fish out of water stories. The one that had the biggest impact on me was moving. What’s going to be my junior year from Pittsburgh, to Westchester County, New York, near White Plains, New York, where I met Calvin and we went to high school. I mean, apparently being six foot one, maybe 160 pounds with pimples and coming from Pittsburgh. I didn’t think that I had an accent but it was brought to my attention on a daily basis that I see Sounded like I was from Appalachia
Calvin 6:01
hold on hold on. I got it. I might. Nobody in our fucking High School knew what Appalachian was. Or could spell it. So
Steve 6:08
all they said was Kentucky. They said, Kentucky. Yeah, I thank you for correcting me it was Kentucky. I will never forget Mike long. And his brothers, huh? ripping into me like my third day he was sitting there in the library. I come in him. Two other guys. There’s like Yo, Kentucky. You’re always wearing those boots Mikko. I always wear these like brown boots. My first year,
Mikko 6:34
like Timberlands? or like chucks? or
Steve 6:37
they were like Timberlands, but they weren’t Timberlands,
Mikko 6:40
okay, okay.
Steve 6:41
They were like the, whatever the Kmart brand was
Calvin 6:43
Timberlakes?
Mikko 6:45
Caterpillars?
Steve 6:51
Timberland. spelled with two M’s
Mikko 6:56
Timmberlands.
Steve 6:57
Exactly. But yeah, it was It was a huge wake up call man going for this high school of like, shit. I think we had like roughly 750 kids in my high school in Pittsburgh. I come to this one in Westchester. There were what 287 Kids grades seven through 12. Yeah. Yeah. And then I suddenly became one of like, 600 some odd white kids to be in one of nine, white kids in high school.
Calvin 7:24
They were like, three white families in the whole town. Yeah. It was like the Diana family which accounted for like seven out of the nine white people and then it was you and your sister.
Steve 7:36
There was Allie Stevenson, her friend.
Calvin 7:39
I was exaggerating, obviously.
Steve 7:42
There were not a lot. I mean, they really weren’t. You know, if you listen to Steve
Calvin 7:54
Shout out to the Stevenson’s
Hey, you know, some of those people are friends with me on Facebook. They’ve seen Yeah, that’s about the podcast. They may be listening. So you know, shout out to the Stevenson’s the Diana’s huge shout out to you guys. That’s crazy. You don’t have an accent, but you bring that up. So I’ll piggyback off that real quick. I dealt with that when I was in college, I have a different accent, depending on who you ask, right? Because my family being from Trinidad, and in the house, we speak with the accent. And I’ve always learned to cover it up at school. So it’s almost like being bilingual, in a sense, where I just speak completely differently depending on what situation I’m in. But people who have an ear for it can pick it up pretty quickly. Like if you spent time around Caribbean people, people, you know, I had interaction recently, actually, I was out in LA out in your neck of the woods in Mikko Long Beach, and then went to visit the Expedia office out there. And like within five minutes, this girl was like, Wait, where are you from? I’m like, picked up on that really quick. She’s like, yeah, I’m from South Florida is a lot of Caribbean people. I was like, Okay, okay, so I got that. And then I also got in college. Like right off the bat people Oh, you from New York. I was like, Damn, really?
Mikko 9:04
Yeah. For real. True New Yorker
Calvin 9:08
yeah, so you’d never think you have an accent but I guess we all do.
Steve 9:12
I guess, man, I never heard it. I’ve been back to Pittsburgh, you know, since and I thought, shit some of these people do sound like they’re from Kentucky. I can hear it now.
Calvin 9:23
Fucking rubes
Mikko 9:27
Damn robes.
Calvin 9:30
Why don’t you leave and go elevate yourself a little bit shit. lose that goddamn accent.
Steve 9:36
It was crazy.
Mikko 9:38
Yeah, rolling up. I never knew I had an accent obviously because I don’t hear it. But coming from the Philippines to Germany. People figured out quick that you know, I wasn’t local. You know, Germans have a different accent. And I grew up in an army base where it’s like a whole smorgasbord of people. So everyone talked differently so no one really picked up on it so much, but certain people could pick up especially when I read when I read my Filipino accent comes out heavy and I can’t control it. For fuck sake. I can’t control this. I sound like a script FOB for those that don’t know five Fresh Off the Boat. Yeah.
Calvin 10:17
well yeah, I guess it used to be but i mean i think it’s like a lot of other terms in different demographics people
Mikko 10:23
It’s commonplace now
Calvin 10:24
Yeah, yeah, we like we’re gonna take that word back and take the power off of it, you know? But yeah, that kind of happens to me a lot of tests so she feel like I’m driving I’ll get cut off I’ll go some I’m cussing him out with my Caribbean accent. Likeit just comes out and my wife was like, What the fuck
Mikko 10:44
Who are you?
Calvin 10:46
Exactly
Mikko 10:48
what ah gwon?
Calvin 10:51
curry cal my alter ego make a dope superhero. That would make a dope superhero be like, hold on baby and just like sprinkle some Curry or something on yourself. Start chucking roti at people take some of this curry chicken.
Mikko 11:16
Curry chicken for you for you.
Calvin 11:20
Yeah, exactly, exactly. But I mean for me, you know my family. We grew up in Brooklyn. So I lived there until I was about 12 years old and then moved to the White Plains area where I met Steve, I moved there when I was roughly 12, going on 13 and I got there right in time for seventh grade to go into that high school and didn’t know a single soul obviously, and these people you know, Elmsford, it is a small town. So most of these people go to school with each other from pre k all the way through. So I come in and talk about fish out of water. I don’t know any of these people. And then now I’m weird because I’m not even from around. Most of these people never even been to Brooklyn. So I’m from this weird place, I have a weird accent. And I didn’t fit in. I didn’t feel like I was from there. Because at that point, obviously I wasn’t. But a few years pass, and once you get maybe like, junior senior, you feel like, okay, and plus, those are very formative years between that age 12 to like 17. So by that time, I kind of felt like, Okay, this is where I’m from. And I was accepted to a certain point, but then I had not even spent half my life at that point, outside of Brooklyn. And you can’t claim a borough once you leave, apparently, for like certain people. By the time I got to college, and you want to tell people from New York, and they’re like, well, where from and I’m trying to describe Well, it’s near White Plains and this area, they’re like you ain’t from new york. Know, you got Well, I lived in Brooklyn for a long time. nah nah that shit don’t count that shit don’t count. It’s like, Well, why not? You know, to be like, what’s the cutoff point is that need to be 16 years to get your driver’s license. In Brooklyn, then you could claim it for the rest of your life like I don’t know. So there was always that and then the Caribbean background versus being American is also something I struggle with because I’m first generation and we didn’t grow up like American kids. We ate our ethnic food, we ate Caribbean food and Curry, all of this other stuff. And again, we spoke with the accent at home. So like, I don’t feel like I had a typical American childhood. And as I’ve mentioned on other episodes, that you know, we spent our entire summers back home in Trinidad. So I feel like I have a blend, but you’re not accepted. In either one. I have gone back to Trinidad and hang out with my cousins. My family is fine. They accept and everything but my cousin’s friends. They look down their nose at you off the rip, they’re like, you ain’t Trini. Why are you trying to speak with our accent? and this and that and I’m like, dude, I’m more Trini than you are. You know what I mean? Like, I live it. I eat it. I breathe it. I live the culture. I listen to the music. I’ve done everything you can do. Alright, I’ve done Things that you haven’t I had a co worker once she’s from Guyana. And off the beginning she was trying to like, quizzing me about that. She’s like, do you know about Carnival or whatever? I was like, I’ve been many times have you? No. Okay, then so. So does that make me more Caribbean than you are now? You know, it’s so strange. People are so weird with that kind of stuff. Mm hmm.
Mikko 14:21
That’s true. You know, growing up moving around all the time, like, I understand, you know, being Filipino, but I never went back as often as you did, right? But my cousin’s same thing as you. They loved me. They accepted me, but they were like, shy and not wanting to speak because they thought, you know, I was only English speaking. And they couldn’t communicate with me so they couldn’t hang out with me or like, have me like, join games or parties or whatever. But little did they know at my house. My parents cooked Filipino food all the time. And we didn’t speak English at home. You know, my parents were so good at making sure that we knew, spoke, understood comprehend. READ WRITE Tagalog, which is the official language in the Philippines. So that when we go back into our home country that we wouldn’t be kind of ostracized or left out, you know for being quote unquote, Americanized. Yeah,
Steve 15:14
Mikko, so question for you. If you and your wife end up having kids, are you going to put as much emphasis on learning Tagalog and keeping those aspects of the culture as your parents put on you?
Mikko 15:24
I would love to, to be honest, I think it would make for a more well rounded child if they understood our background, and if they spoke the language, ate the foods. And I would even make it a point to actually visit much more often than I did as a child. Because I’ve talked about this in previous episodes. When I go into the Philippines, when I set my foot down to the ground. I feel home like this is home for me and I want my child or children if you know we were to be blessed to have them to feel the same way and I want them to feel that connection with the quote unquote Motherland, that they came From you know, so yes,
Calvin 16:02
Yeah, I agree, I think I would do my best and think for me, it’s a little different because my wife is not Caribbean, she’s Russian. So that child’s gonna be pretty diluted, you know, some watery Curry, right there
But I definitely think it’s important for them to know the culture because I think it had a huge impact on my upbringing that you know, the things you learn to appreciate about living here versus living in a third world country. Right, right. You know, that’s important. I think that helped really shaped me throughout my childhood. And obviously, I think our culture is very unique, and it’s a lot of fun, and there’s a lot of good in it. I would hate for that kid not to know everything about it, or as much as I could possibly teach, you know, and it helps make you a more well rounded person. So I agree. He certainly tried to do that. But going back to my college days, at that age, I think, at any age, really, I think people want to fit in into some sort of group, club, whatever. But I think it’s particularly important when you’re younger, you know, are in that like late teens or early 20s. You know, you’re trying to like find yourself and I think you want something to belong to. So, when I got to college, it was mostly black people, but you had the Africans, you had your American blacks, you had your Caribbean, we still found ways to kind of segment ourselves and I tried to join well I did join the Caribbean club to try to hang out with people that I thought were like me, right. And most people were accepting. They understood my story, my background or whatever, but you always have these few that are like, well, you ain’t Caribbean, you’re American. I’m like, Well, I speak with the accent at home. I eat the food I’ve been to my country probably more than you have to yours. So I don’t know what you’re talking about. But you know, you ain’t got a green card. You don’t know the struggle and whatever. Like why do I have to know a struggle like again, is that the breaking point? So if I have a green card that makes me officially Caribbean again, Going back to the whole Brooklyn thing, what if I lived in Trinidad until I was 12? Then got my green card and moved. And now I’m like, 60 am I still Caribbean? Or what? Like, what’s the cutoff? Like everybody thinks that they get to make the rules for the race or the demographic, you know, it’s like, me like, Oh, I gotta show this when I go to the airport. So that’s your fucking problem, dude. I don’t care.
Mikko 18:24
That reminds me of high school, though, in high school, and these people probably gonna hate me for even saying this. There’s a group of Filipinos that wanted to be like, super Filipino.
Calvin 18:36
What exactly is that?
Mikko 18:37
Like straw backpacks, you know where the Filipino flag would be it’s on their necklace. Just straight up Filipino all hung out together. They only hung out with each other and they didn’t associate with blacks or whites and they wanted me to be a part of that group. And not to toot my own horn but I was slightly popular in high school because I played on the basketball team. I was on the track team. So I hung out with a lot of African American People, and they would make comments like, Hey, you need to hang up more with us because you’re not like them. And I’m like, wait, damn, you were born here kind of like you Cal. I tell him you were born here. You don’t speak the language. You don’t eat the food. You’ve never been to the country where your parents came from. I’m more Filipino than you. That fucking beaded necklace on your freakin neck doesn’t make you more Filipino. It really doesn’t. It’s just kind of like that weird thing where they’re just like, Oh, we are the Filipino you have to hang out with all Filipinos, because if you hang out with other races, you’re a what’s the word? Not a sellout? I guess it’s a sellout or whatever. Yeah. But that’s what they would call me. And it’s like, Well, okay, sorry. You know, I don’t associate with your culture, because your culture is kind of like this weird interpretation of what you think Filipinos are? So yeah, it’s kind of funny how you said that.
Calvin 19:50
Yeah. Well, you know, it’s interesting, because I think that goes back to the earlier point I made where I do have some sympathy for people like that because they’re trying to find their identity and then Trying to find a place where they feel they belong. You know that so they may not have ever been to the Philippines but they associate and they’re trying to embrace it and trying to identify as that and I have some sympathy for that but one thing you said you know you said super Filipino. So we got curry Cal and we got super Filipino so we’re forming our like stereotype Avengers right now. So Steve, it’s on you got to come up with yours who is your superhero gonna be?
Mikko 20:30
do tell
Steve 20:30
me oh yeah yeah put me on the spot here
Calvin 20:33
Not to put you on the spot if you could come up with it throughout the episode but you know think about Yeah, you got you got you got a few minutes left to come up with a Pittsburgh superhero.
Mikko 20:46
That Chris Rock line when he goes hey, I’m Romanian. You’re Romanian.
Calvin 20:54
We ain’t got time to divvy y’all up into little pieces. Oh man,
Steve 20:59
my God. Pittburgh superhero would be the yen’s inator and for anyone not from Pittsburgh, instead of saying, Do you guys want to go to a bar? It’d be yen’s want to go to a bar?
Calvin 21:11
Yens? so like y’all?
Steve 21:13
y’all. Yeah, it’s just a different version of y’all.
Mikko 21:16
Oh, so young, like young for the DC folks.
Calvin 21:20
ughh I used to hate that shit
Steve 21:23
Young? Say in a sentence
Calvin 21:26
Whats good young?
Mikko 21:27
Yeah, it was good. Yeah. What’s going on? Yeah, it’s good. Yeah. What you do? Yeah.
Calvin 21:31
It’s like a southern drawn out way to say Yo, yeah, it’s like from New York and be like, yo, like, yo, was good was good. Yeah. Yeah. And rock did because I think people are just like a much slower pace. Once you get past like jersey shit just slows down. And by the time you get to DC, they’re like, Young, whappup young. You know,
Steve 21:50
DC is like a biscuit below New York, man.
Calvin 21:55
What you say?
Steve 21:55
DC is not that far from New York
Calvin 21:58
No, you would be surprised.
Steve 21:59
I’ve never been So I’m asking
Calvin 22:01
you know what you would be surprised how late you would get fashion trends and music and stuff like that it’s only a few states away you’re right it’s not that far it’s not like we’re talking Alabama or something right like that, but you would be surprised how late they catch on to shit. Like I don’t I can’t think of anything specific right now but there were certain styles were like I’d see people rocking a hat a certain way or rockin jerseys jersey, you know, were big. And it’s like, we did that in high school. You know, we did that three, four years ago. And y’all just now catching that style
Steve 22:33
starter coats last year?
Calvin 22:35
so yeah, like weird stuff like that. Like remember when rockin those Columbia rain suits was a style for some reason.
Mikko 22:44
Bro, that was high school. No?
Calvin 22:46
Yeah, exactly. That was high school. I did that when I was probably like 15 16 years old. And I don’t know how or why that shit ever caught on as a style because it’s hot as fuck in a rainsuit yeah You walk around in that all day. I mean, it’s a tent.
Mikko 23:03
But basically it is a tent.
Calvin 23:05
Yeah. God Yeah, but now you you like drumming up memories now from college. Like, can we talk about gogo music for a second? What the fuck is that?
Steve 23:15
Is this from like gogo music from like, the DC area? definition?
Calvin 23:20
Yeah. Yeah, it’s a DC area. You know style of music. The best way I’ve ever been able to describe it is like if you had a bunch of like pots and bowls in a cupboard above the sink, and you opened it like say they will all pushed to the front of the cupboard you open that shit and everything fell out. That’s what it sounds like. It’s like, you know how jazz doesn’t have any sort of structure right? It’s just kind of all over the place. You just riff and it just kind of go with it. It sounds like that. But with bongo drums.
Mikko 23:54
Yeah, basically right. It is kind of like a popular song. They put like a lot Like backyard like drum beats to it and they kind of like slow it down a little bit. Yeah, I don’t know.
Calvin 24:06
It’s weird shit bro. And talking about styles like yeah those slouch socks. That was something I never got. So Steve what they used to rock these had these were you know what the best comparison I can give it. Remember Jane Fonda? Jane Fonda back in 80s with the leggings and those socks.
Steve 24:25
I’m looking this up as you’re talking about it. wait guys would wear those?
Calvin 24:33
yes they would wear those with sneakers,
Mikko 24:35
they would wear those with Timberlands
Steve 24:45
only time I wear two pairs of socks is when I was young and my parents bought shoes too because they were on sale. He said go with two pairs of socks and he did that on purpose?
Calvin 24:56
They did that shit on purpose that was a style and did rock those with Like Jordans or whatever sneakers were hot like they’d rock those with basketball sneakers, shorts, and walk around campus like that was the shit. And I guess that was also part of how you could identify people. Maybe it wasn’t just the accent like you could tell a DC cat just on seeing him. He’d have on slouch socks he’d have on a hat like a bedazzled hat. They were into that they would embroider shit on hats
Steve 25:20
This sounds like anyone’s crazy aunt who’s coming to visit. Yes, Thanksgiving.
Calvin 25:24
Yes, like flo from those commercials. Yeah, but she dress up as the other character.
Steve 25:29
A bedazzled hat.
Calvin 25:30
That was them. And then I guess New York cats we didn’t dress like that we dress. I don’t know how I’m from New York so I can’t explain. We just put on clothes right like I don’t I don’t know what I’m talking about in college.
Mikko 25:46
Oh, yes, sir. Yes. What’s up? Okay. Yeah.
Steve 25:48
Yeah, high school because in high school Does Mikko know your name from high school?
Calvin 25:53
No, he doesn’t.
Mikko 25:54
Shy cal? No it’s not Shy Cal?
Steve 25:59
Mikko Matching guy. Match. Oh, oh, we were at the Westchester arena for a basketball game. And dude had on I don’t know what it was. It might have been Orlando Magic but you were decked out You look good. But everything matched. It caught the eye of these girls and they called him matching guy. They’re like hey, matching guy. Matching guy Let’s hang out. Matching guy you rocked my world. I’m serious. And so from that point on just a bust his balls we call him matching guy.
Mikko 26:29
Now wait, wait, are we talking like pinstripe? Magic jersey with like pinstripe? Oh, just everything the colors just matched.
Calvin 26:37
You know what? Because the name stuck. I remember the outfit I had on.
Mikko 26:43
Do tell Do tell sir
Calvin 26:45
I had on you know just regular denim jeans. Probably had on Tim’s with one M and I had on a Tampa Bay Lightning hockey jersey.
Steve 26:54
Yes.
Mikko 26:55
Okay. Okay. Okay, man.
Calvin 26:56
Orlando. Orlando Magic. Yeah, kinda Yeah, but it It’s mostly black, low white, and like blue trim. Yeah. And then I had on our Orlando Magic, kind of like a headband. You know, those like that you way over your ears in the winter. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, like those thick headbands that go all the way around. So yeah, I had that and yeah, that’s that’s what he’s referring to. So I did match. I matched the fuck out of my self that night. So
Steve 27:21
did man. You did it? Well, shit. You got us talking to some girls that that right? There was great night.
Calvin 27:28
Hey,
Mikko 27:29
Calvin magic.
Calvin 27:30
I guess it worked in high school. But yeah, though, that was my style. I wore a lot of jerseys. between high school and college I had a vast array of jerseys and hats that would match them. So that was my style. And it was in New York thing or not, but that was me for sure.
Mikko 27:45
See, college was different for me college was I had to match my shirt with my hat. Like, that was my thing. Like, people would always be like, Hey, you know that Filipino Guy Mikko. They’d be like, Who the fuck is that? Like, oh, the guy with the matching hat. Yeah, like You know that guy like, if I had on an orange shirt I had on a plain orange starter cap or a new era cap, same shade everything I had red, pink, blue, green, whatever color shirt that I had, I would always match and that’s like kind of like how people knew me in college.
Calvin 28:15
See, that’s why we vibe because I had the same thing. I remember I had Brett Farve jersey. Yeah, like the green with the yellow trim. And then I had a yellow New York Yankees hat to go with that. So I mean Mikko we on the same wave.
Mikko 28:29
That’s right. We fuck with each other like that? exact same wave. Exactly.
Calvin 28:33
But then right so you had the DC cats with that style. Philly cats were always
Mikko 28:39
peacoats
Calvin 28:41
I wouldn’t call them skinny jeans but they were like trim jeans. You know like, back in that era. Everybody wore baggy jeans Philly cats didn’t wear baggy jeans they wore like, fitted not to make them sound like skinny jeans like cats wear today. But they were. Yeah, relaxed bootcut I guess whatever you call it. This just regular straight down jeans, not baggy and if you’re from Philly, All your labels had to match. So like if you had on a polo shirt, you couldn’t have on Tommy Hilfiger jacket. Right. They didn’t do that. They would laugh at you for that. Again, I didn’t care about labels like that. It was more about like what colors go together but Philly, Philly was sharp. That was the thing they were ahead of the curve, I guess on the fashion tip. Yeah, they were
Mikko 29:23
Yeah, they were all of them. I could always remember all of them hanging out and I just remember even like when it’s close to the summer they all had fucking pea coats on and I’m like dark Indigo shade jeans for like always fitted and then you know, Timberlands pretty motherfuckers
Calvin 29:41
probably I don’t know fucking wife beater. Nothing else underneath. Like I had to pea coat. Yeah, probably. Gotta have the pea coat? Probably. Yeah, but speaking of trying to fit in, and since we’re on this college era, you know, I’ma tell my story and you guys think about yours what’s like the strangest thing you ever did to try to fit in? Okay, for me in college it was I tried to Well, I did start to pledge a fraternity.
Mikko 30:10
Ahh yeah, I remember,
Calvin 30:13
I distinctly remember doing it and my reason was I wanted to get the jacket and I wanted to fit in with that crowd and I wanted to get respect when I walked around campus and something that would give me that kind of confidence, you know? and I went into this situation and it’s just like the bullshit you see in the movies you start getting paddled. You know, you silly Yeah, yeah, I got hit with this stupid fucking paddle. To the point where they tell you when you’re done, you’ve got to either bounce on the floor, or like, just basically back your ass into a wall constantly so you’re, you don’t bruise up
Mikko 30:49
and you avoid the blood clots in your butt cheeks?
Exactly.Yeah, because your butt just basically comes with one gigantic bruise almost like a scab and like rock hard. If you don’t do that. So did that dumb shit. I remember one night we’re at the guy’s house. And he told us before we came in that day like Yo, everybody gota wear tighty whities. like okay. Yeah, I’m like, Yo, this is like a regular fraternity right? Like, I don’t know why we talking about drawers right now. But we get there get to dude’s house you know, normal shit start getting you know you getting hit whatever. Then dude goes to the kitchen comes back with a bottle of hot sauce. And he’s like, yo, open up your drawers and drop this hot sauce in there. And I was like rice Yeah, you know again now telling the story. I’m like you were a fucking idiot. The hell did you do any of this for but in the moment you’re like, yeah, give me the hot sauce I can take it. That shit better not be mild either know what I’m sayin? or medium. You know, give me that hot. And you know, weak Tabasco either. So I line up and I think I was like, number one, so they line you up mostly by height, but also by who they think will kind of lead. So I was closer to the front I was like either one or two. But I was one of the first people to go. So I’m doing this and then I pass it, I shake this stuff down, I pass it to the next guy by the time it got to four I was like, and that was the challenge for that night. And then I remember a night where we they took us out to some field and again, you know, we went to Eastern Shore, Maryland, so there’s a lot of cornfields and farmland out there a lot of places to do dumb shit where people will never see it.
Facts
Calvin 32:47
they took us out to the middle of this field. And I think this is when I kind of was like yo, I’m done. After this one. We were just lining up right so it was two of the of the brothers that were ready in one was a bigger guy, probably about six, four. And so he picked up the other dude, the other guy is kind of like, crunched up with his knees up to his chest and his feet out. And we lined up for this dude to just kick us in the chest. And taking turns doing this. He’s so yeah, I’m like, I think the next morning, I was like, What the fuck am I doing? Why am I doing this? And I really did some soul searching into, like, why am I really trying to do this because these were late nights, they keep you out until two three in the morning or whatever. And I used to take eight o’clock classes, most of the time because I wanted to get my day done by like, two, three o’clock, and my grades started to slip. I was falling asleep in class and shit like that. And I just I really did some soul searching after that one. And I was like, why am I doing this? Why do I really want to be part of this fraternity? And I was like, dude, if you don’t have a better reason, than I want to fit in or to have some confidence in yourself. If you don’t got That kind of confidence a stupid jacket is not going to give it to you. And I remember after that it was done. So that for me is probably the dumbest thing I’ve ever done simply on the strength of trying to fit in with a certain crowd.
Mikko 34:11
I know what fraternity you’re talking about, too. I’m not gonna name em.
Calvin 34:14
Yes, you do.. nah we’re not gonna do that. We don’t want to get nobody shut down, but I know you know.
Mikko 34:19
Yes, yes. How about you, Steve, before I go into my little rant?
Steve 34:24
Biggest thing ever did the fit in in high school. started smoking cigarettes a couple times. That was pretty stupid. I started smoking cigarettes because it got me lightheaded then I didn’t stutter. And so if something again, prevented me from stuttering, shit I’d chop off a finger to stop stuttering. Yeah, so that was probably one of the stupidest things I’ve ever done. Oh, my God. Yeah, I’d say that’s right up there. Because, you know, I was probably 15 16 tried a couple of cigarettes. They tasted like ass but I knew that I you know, again, I had this lightheaded Feeling and I didn’t stutter. And I remember trying to talk to this girl. I timed it up so that if I smoked the cigarette, I’ll still be lightheaded. I go talk to this girl, and I’m wont stutter. It’ll be awesome. It’ll be an awesome party. Great. We’re gonna go out for the entire summer, all the shits gonna happen, and I’m wandering up to her all nervous and shit. I’d gone nose Deaf at this point. And so I wasn’t conscious of how my breath smelled, or how my hand smelled. You smoke, a cigarette your hand smells like tobacco and all that shit. And I go up to this girl. And all I got out was, Hey, what’s up? And this waft of just yellow air coming out of my mouth and penetrates the part of her brain that like fight or flight part of your brain, where she was like, I gotta get the fuck away from this guy before he melts my face off. And she goes, Yeah, no and turned on her heel and left. Oh, and I was there and I go Oh shit, I need another cigarette now to calm down cuz this is just freaking me out and blah blah blah blah. Oh my god. So yeah, that was one of the stupidest things I ever did.
Calvin 36:10
That reminds me of the Chappelle Show episode. I remember where he was working at McDonald’s, and he tried to holla a some girls after a long shift. they were like Oh, you smell like French fries and they just turned and walked away
Steve 36:28
I tell you what, holy shit. I go right over to my buddy. I think it was my friend Paul at the time I go dude, I don’t know what happened. He goes Whoa, go here’s some gum you need to know your breath smells here drink this and fuck just crazy. But you know i all too often you find that that a lot of this trying to blend in or people trying to put you down comes from their feelings of insecurity or whatever, you know, trying to feel superior. You know, I’ve gone back to people who have put me down and you know, revisit them at a later time. You talk to him again. Have you guys ever done that? Have you ever gone back to people who, like, try to put you down because you weren’t Filipino enough or you weren’t Trinidadian enough? I don’t know. I do
Mikko 37:11
not really. I don’t give em the energy
Calvin 37:13
No. I mean, and I would love to know shit. I wish I had more that type of mentality. I’m definitely big on eye for an eye, I don’t forget I don’t forget. I don’t think I’ve had that opportunity though. I would have to give that some thought and maybe I’ll bring that up in the future but just best believe if you’re listening and you’re one of those people who talk some shit about me. I got something for your ass at some point.
Steve 37:38
I got back at a teacher one time. If you believe that I got back at a teacher. So again, trying to blend in and stuff. All I wanted to do was blend into school. And again I was six foot six foot one like 120 pounds and like seventh grade eighth grade is ridiculous. My face was like a pizza and I the stutter said One thing I hated doing in class was reading out loud in class because that would mean I’d have to stutter in front of the entire fucking class. And this one teacher got me called me out. He goes, come on, you’re gonna read and you know, there’s mr. Thompson. I’m not gonna say what school I was from, but Mr. Thompson Oh, come on, Steve. Let’s read. Let’s read bla bla bla, and I start off with the social studies. I start off saying the word population and I stuttered on the first page. He goes pop-population. And I snapped. All I said is I’m gonna fucking kill you. What? Why would you do that? Yeah. And I was never like a violent kid in school, never have outbursts or anything. teacher called my mom. My mom was working night shift at the hospital, so she didn’t have any time for this guy. When I told her what happened. Flash forward, probably 20 years. I was like late 20s. And I’m conducting this class. I’m conducting the class now, for all these teachers. And one of the teachers that comes in is this asshole teacher. I never forgotten this fucking guy. He never thought about this at all. And I called him out in front of this entire group of teachers like right When the thing started, right when my session started then I had his ass he was in the front row I had his ass for an hour and a half. It was fantastic. It was one of the greatest things I’ve ever done. Good for you on this fucking teacher.
Calvin 39:14
Good for you. Well, you know, yes. Since we were on the topic, I don’t let me forget, I remembered my story. So when I’m done with this, don’t forget, I’m getting old. So, you know, gonna need y’all to keep me on point but I had the same problem in high school, I stuttered a lot. And I think it came from a lot of just really insecurity and just not being confident. You know, again, going back to that, you know, situation I just talked about just trying to have some confidence in yourself. And I was very, like shy, timid, insecure, and that led to a lot of that. And that happened to me a couple of times in class. So yeah, I think it’s happened to anybody with any sort of a speech impediment, regardless of where it comes from, you know, you’re forced to read in class and it’s like, the walls are caving in. You’re like, Oh, shit. I remember there was one teacher. I told her that I went to her after class at one point I said, I don’t ever want to read in class. And she was like, why? And I was going because I stutter and like, I’m just not going to do it. And one time, she, called on me and I was like, no. I just did. No, I’m not doing it. And then that’s when she called me after class. And she was like, Well, why and then I explained the whole thing to her. So she was a bit more lenient after that. But yeah, I was just flat out like, Nope, not gonna be me. Because I did get Laughed that a couple of times one time in particular, I do remember it was in that same class. So the next time I was like, Hell, no. I’m gonna take the F
Mikko 40:36
i’ll take the Zero. Y’all know, y’all know.
Calvin 40:43
Oh, man, but so know my payback story is a good one. And I just remembered it. It wasn’t about anybody necessarily making fun of me or anything like that. But it was when my wife and I met at our first job. Now again, as I mentioned earlier, my wife is Russian, I’m Trini. So black and white, we’re, you know, an interracial couple. And this girl at my job who I guess, I don’t know, she was interested, just didn’t like the fact that I was black dating a white girl and not giving her any attention. I’m not sure where to hell it came from, but she had a problem with it. And one time, we were both out of work on the same day. So we come into work the next day, and we both like getting grilled by our bosses about well, where were you yesterday and this and that, I’m like, What the fuck? What is this? I got called into a meeting with two directors. And they’re like grilling me about where I was yesterday and what my relationship with her is and this and I’m like, yo, what’s going on? Come to find out. She was the one going around talking shit saying Oh, isn’t that convenient that they’re both out of the office the same day, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And this went on for months. And again, I’m I’m young. This is my first job out of school. I started that job when I was about 21. So, certainly not, you know, the person with the backbone I have now and you know, you’re the young kid at the job. So you don’t know how to go back at these people who are older. But this continued for a long time. And it got to a point where she cornered my wife at work. So she kind of they were coming down the same Hall, and she just went right up to her and backed her into a corner, and she told her something along the lines of you need to stick with your own kind Oh, Dan. And yeah, and then. So we had the conversation, and my wife told me this, and you know, she’s upset and bothered by it. And I was like, Listen, I mean, consider the source. She just, she’s ghetto. That’s all Ima say she’s ghetto as shit. I got nothing to do with her. And I don’t know what her fucking problem is, you know, but that’s her shit to deal with. So, fast forward now. Probably 13 14 years, Im in a director position in the same market. So this hotel was maybe a mile away from that other hotel where we We met. And I’m in director position. I’m like one of the more powerful positions in the building to the point where people would consult me on hiring other directors for other departments because we all kind of they kind of all floated up to me and a lot of ways. So the GM comes to me with this resume. And I’m like, Oh, I know that name. I know that person. And I explained who she was. I was like, Listen, she’s kind of rough, but that department needs it. So she got hired. And part of her process was to interview with me, which, considering she’s older, and she also had this kind of attitude towards me of dominance. She was a little taken aback by that, but I’m like, hey, all right. Come into my office. I have a seat. So she comes in my office, I close the door and up on my wall. I had a picture of me, my wife, our dogs, and you know, from the wedding and everything. And she sits down, I’m looking directly at her. She sits down, she looks up at the wall, and I saw the soul leave her body
Steve 44:03
She didn’t know who you were until that happened?
Calvin 44:05
No, no, she knew who I was. But she didn’t realize that I was still with that white girl. So when she saw the picture, it was like, Oh, shit, and I was like, yeah, bitch. That was she went pale. I was like, Oh, I guess we could date now cuz now you look white. Oh, wow.
Mikko 44:28
Step into my office Why? Cuz you’re fucking fired. something about mary. Something about mary
Calvin 44:37
Yeah, yeah.For me, that’s my karma story whenever I know that karma exists. And I tell people like that’s the one because you know what, I waited a long time for that. And I didn’t go searching for it or anything. It came literally came right to my lap and I was like, boom. You know, suck on that. Have a good day. You’re done.
Mikko 44:59
Nah say what you were about to say eat a dick. you were about to say that go ahead and say it
Calvin 45:23
All right, Mikko, you’re up. You got
one
Mikko 45:26
just to try to fit in and college are we talking about like, anyway?
Calvin 45:31
You don’t have his with both. We did both.
Mikko 45:33
I don’t have any payback thing. Like I said, I don’t give it that kind of energy. You know, people that people that told me when I was in college, dating black females in college that I shouldn’t be doing it because I’m taking their black queens. Those people can eat a dick but I’m not out. I’m not out to kind of whatever karma can do whatever she can with them. I don’t really care what they do. Yeah, as far as trying to fit in too much. My roommate In college, if you remember Cal my freshman year, he was a, a weed dealer. I guess he sold weed, and smoked a lot of it. So I was on scholarship, I’m a nerd. So I was on scholarship in college and to try to fit in, you know, like, I’m not against smoking weed. But then we would go on runs and go to people’s houses to pick up merchandise and to do all these things. I was thinking to myself, why am I doing this? Like, he’s not gonna make it far. By midterms. My freshman year, mind you I’m on scholarship, my GPA was a 1.2 out of a 4.0 and I’m doing these late night runs and you know, we’re going all over the places we’re smoking out in cars. We’re doing all this kinds of stuff. Sorry, Mom and dad. We did all these things, and my GPA was going down and at one point, I hadn’t slept for like four days. I was taking nodoze cats caffeine pills. I was taking those little energy packet thing there was no Monster Red Bull at that time, so we’re just like a bunch of sodas. And I kid you not. I was in honors English class with Miss Anderson. And I’m paying attention and in my mind. I’m taking perfect notes, legible notes, detailed notes. I wake up to someone tapping me. It’s four periods later, while asleep in class. It’s four classes later, like the second and third class after I had fallen asleep in my class, just let me sleep. Oh, shit, got the big sleep and I fell asleep. fourth period or fourth session, the class someone woke me up. I looked at my notes. It was a bunch of scribble and then a line just going straight down. Mm hmm. Like I’d fallen asleep and just fell straight and they probably couldn’t wake me up to be honest with you. I mean, I was out Yeah, they probably tried to like so. Yeah, that’s what I didn’t try to fit in. Yeah, no, thanks.
Calvin 47:51
Yeah. No, I was I was right there. So if you were rooming with the dealer, I was a I was a customer. Yeah, you know,
Mikko 47:59
you know, C-base. c-Base. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Calvin 48:02
I remember C-base. Yeah, I remember that dude. Dude lives in New York. You’re talking about not being from New York. That mufucka lives in basically Canada.
Mikko 48:15
Oh, okay. Okay.Yeah, yeah, he was That’s right. He’s from Yeah.
Calvin 48:19
Yeah, way way up there. But yeah, I was I was a customer and I went through the same shit you did, like I was out there. By second semester. I really like found some friends you included and we were out almost every night you know, smoking up and whatever. And grades started to drop I lost my scholarship for a semester for that reason, because I was just messing around just trying to hang out with people and fit in, you know, any kind of like it and you get that reality check. like, yo, my dad was like, I’m not paying this bill. You better do what you gotta do. You know, he’s like, I’m gonna pay for the one semester that you you lose it, you lose it after that you’re on your own. I was like alright. So I just straightened up and you know, you learn how to have fun and get your stuff done. And that’s all part of you know, growing up in college, but yeah, that was also part of the trying to fit in phase. Let me hang out with these guys and smoke weed every night.
Mikko 49:14
same thing I lost my scholarship too and then my parents were just like, Okay, this is it one semester, we’re gonna pay and that’s it. So after that I made a promise to myself. My GPA is gonna go up every semester after this because I can’t mess around and lose the scholarship because we can’t afford to pay for college.
Calvin 49:29
No, that’s why I went there it was free. I got two scholarships out of high school. Luckily, my guidance counselor told me he was like, Listen, if you apply to some schools further south, you probably can get some money. So I said, you know, applied to a bunch. I got money from Morgan State, which is in Baltimore. I went there and it’s very, very much like the city and be like going to, you know, school here in Manhattan. And it wasn’t even a full ride. It was like maybe half. I was like, okay, whatever. And then we drove down to the shore and as soon as we pulled on campus I was like, I’m going here, because it was a full, full scholarship. And it was a beautiful campus. I was like this really? No, I’m a practical person. There’s no reason for me to turn that down.
Mikko 50:10
Yeah, same way. For me like I viewed Eastern Shore as it wasn’t even like my first or second or third choice. To be honest, I didn’t even look at Eastern Shore until the counselor came and said, Hey, you know, the school is kind of like looking for people to give scholarships to should apply. I’ve visited the campus I fell in love with it instantly. I had another scholarship to Penn State, but Eastern Shore like soon as I saw campus, I just fell in love with it. And then I think I was the affirmative action scholarship. I can’t cuz I’m yeah, I don’t know how I got a scholarship. To be honest with you.
Calvin 50:43
Nah you were in honors
Mikko 50:45
Yeah,
Calvin 50:46
yea we were both in honors thats how we met we had some of the same classes.
Mikko 50:50
you’re killing me street cred Cal
Calvin 50:53
Yeah, my bad, my bad. We can edit that out. Dave. Dave, make sure you take that one.
Mikko 50:58
we were on the scholarship program together, Honors Program.
Calvin 51:01
Yeah, man, but we ain’t doing shit for the the Alumni Association right now. Because like, I really want to go there, but you know, I’m like, it was free fuck it I’m good. Yeah sign me up. I don’t care where it is.
Mikko 51:14
Yeah, no, it was cool. Like, the Honors Program was cool. That was a blessing. I’m not even gonna front that, you know, a free education. I mean, you can’t beat that exactly.
Calvin 51:23
Now you cant beat that, then you gotta, you gotta make the most of that opportunity, which I believe we did. I’m gonna drop I’m gonna drive yall just reminded me of a payback story. So I’m gonna drop that one and then we’ll go into our final two segments here. There we go. But this one isn’t as good as the other payback because it hasn’t. There’s nothing like tangible like that. But graduation day for me was horrible. What horrible. Oh, absolutely. fucking horrible. Yeah, it was one of the worst experiences where you know, you have certain milestones growing up where it’s like graduate, high school, college and then get married. And it was like I got to a point where all of these milestones were fucked up in one way, shape or form. My wedding story is for a whole other day. That’s all I could do the whole episode by myself on that one, but we’ll get to that later. But graduation was so messed up because we get there, you know, you go you line up, get your cap and gown, whatever you got to go see your teacher, Counselor, whatever, and they give you the card that they read when you cross stage. So when I got it, it didn’t have the correct honor level, I guess you call it so I was magna cum laude and they had something else. So I went to the teacher and I was like, This is wrong based on what y’all told me and my grades. This is like I had a higher level than this. So she drew a line through the last word and corrected it. So I’m like, Okay, fine. So now I go up on stage, hand, the guy my card, and he reads it and he just reads my name. doesn’t say anything about my honors or accomplishments. And for those that don’t know, like, you wear a certain color sash and a tassel based on that. So I had the correct colors on, but he just said, I’m not gonna read anything. And I kind of froze on stage because I really like the ghetto part of me want to turn I be like, yo, read the shit man. Yeah, I worked four and a half years on that. You know what I mean? But then I was raised right. So it’s like, well keep walking, you know, Don’t make a scene, but I was fucking heated. And then to make matters worse, after that you had a smaller ceremony for your own school. So that was like the whole school graduation then you had one for your department. So I went to the hotel restaurant management building, and we had a separate ceremony then there’s like maybe eight of us that graduated that year, because I graduated in December. So in the small room, this room can’t be bigger than 1000 square feet. And everybody’s in there with Family you got on your cap and gown and everything everybody’s all proud, happy and whatever. And the President of the school comes up and he reads off everybody’s names says a little thing about them, whatever they come up, get the diploma move on. So he does this for every single person in the room. Except me. Damn. So I’m the only asshole sitting there with my family and a full cap and gown. And then he goes, Okay, well, you know, enjoy your lunch, blah, blah, blah. Like it doesn’t address it at all. like as if the whole room ain’t looking at me, I’m like, what’s this about so now when this is all over? Me and my dad was fuckin pissed. We go approach this guy. And my dad was like, Yo, what the fuck was that? You know? And he says, Well, you know, we’re gonna have to mail him his diploma because he didn’t pay a parking ticket. Y’all want to know how much this ticket was? the parking ticket was $65
Mikko 55:01
Oh, damn.
Calvin 55:03
So this asshole embarrassed me in front of the entire school and my family on my graduation day over $65 and I’m like, Why didn’t you tell me about it? He’s like, well, I don’t I don’t know what the fuck you mean you dont know? You got all the diplomas. You had a list of all the people that graduated you didn’t see one was missing and say, Hey, you know what? Why is that? Maybe we should tell him so we can clear this up and he doesn’t have to go through that. What kind of a fucking moron?
Mikko 55:29
That’s shitty.
Calvin 55:30
Yeah, it was horrible. That is like, was the worst. So a year later, now you start getting shit in the mail from the alumni society. Oh, please donate. I was like, Fuck y’all, you’ll never get a dime from me.
Mikko 55:42
Exactly.
Calvin 55:43
So if you’re listening, I loved going to school at the shore and if anybody from the shore is listening, that’s my position. Make it right. And maybe you’ll get some alumni money But until then, go fuck yaself
Mikko 55:58
it to be honest. Oh Cal, to be honest. They fucked up my GPA too
Calvin 56:03
See? there you go
Mikko 56:04
3.64 and then they just put cum laude on mine and they should have been Magna.
Calvin 56:10
There you go see?
Mikko 56:11
three five. But here’s what they said here’s what they said. They said, because I wasn’t at a three, five last semester before my graduation semester. They based it off of that even though I got a 4.0 my last semester, which really boosted me up to a 3.64 I was at like a 3.49 the last semester or second to last semester and they said they based it off of that. So I got cum laude instead of magna cum laude.
Calvin 56:38
That’s exactly what it was. That’s what happened to me
Mikko 56:40
and that’s why I don’t give money to the UMES Alumni Association either.
Calvin 56:44
So let’s see. I hope y’all listen and listen. We we delivered the message in a harsh way but I hope you could see through it and listen, do right and right will be done by you. This is why you don’t get no alumni money you fuck your kids over. So apparently I got three get off my lawns this week because that was the second one that I didn’t even see coming. So now it’s time for our favorite segment. Get off my lawn and I’m gonna let somebody else take the mic because you know, I’m not gonna have any lawn left.
Mikko 57:14
Yeah, I think Steven can go first, I think we’ve kind of dominated that last 10 minutes. Yeah. All good.
Steve 57:19
So if I’ve spoken about this one before, stop me. But recently, I’m at a park with my daughter. Start talking to another dad there as you do. And this guy is he’s just given off a weird vibe. And then you know, eventually comes What do you do for a living? He goes, Oh, I’m, I’m an essential worker. And I’m at this stage. Whenever I hear of essential worker I think of, you’re an EMT, you’re in the medical profession. You’re on the front line, so to speak. You’re a cop. You’re something
Calvin 57:49
mmhmm
Mikko 57:50
Yep, yep.
Steve 57:51
Instead this guy, I go, Oh, that’s fantastic. What do you do? He goes along in sales I so blah, blah, blah. And I look at them I’m not going to get into this with somebody you know, not in front of his kid in I mean, I’ve never seen this guy before. I probably will never see him again. But shit. If you’re listening, if you just have a job right now, you are not essential. You’re just employed.
You’re just fucking employed. I’m employed. That’s all it is. I’m just employed. I’m not essential. I just I just have a job so
Calvin 58:23
no, I’m with you why do people like to say shit to like hype it up and make it sound
Steve 58:28
Exactly. And then he’s like telling me what he sells. I’m like, dude, you sell machine parts. Get the fuck out of here.
Calvin 58:35
What is unless that machine is being used to you know, make the vaccine then you’re not essential.
Mikko 58:40
Make masks…something .
Steve 58:43
Trust me, man. Dude was not essential. As soon as he opened his mouth. I’m like, I regret fucking opening my mouth to say hi to this guy. I really do. I feel bad for your daughter growing up with such a stupid dad. Like you. You’re an idiot. You’re an idiot. You’re not essential. You’re a fucking douche. Oh geez oh that’s my get off my lawn. yeah haha that’s my get off my lawn. God damn it. I love it just be employed motherfucker you’re not essential
and you’re reproducing fuck you
too much stupid in this world man there’s
Calvin 59:24
Oh, man Tell me about it
Steve 59:26
all right, who’s next?
Mikko 59:28
I guess I’ll go save Calvin for last because I think he has a banger. So I’ma keep mine with you know when we’re younger and we’re in a group of people we’re walking around we think we’re bad we think we’re like infallible we think we’re like indestructible and you know we act like a badass and you know when people like are walking in opposite direction as us coming towards us like you know we if you’re in a group usually you don’t move out of the way or you just kind of like you know, act hard or whatever And I used to do that when I was younger, but I would always be respectful enough to kind of like sidestep a little bit and not bump into the people even in a group because you know, I was raised right. But that bugs the crap out of me now when like a group of kids, maybe even like late teens are walking across, you know, shoulder to shoulder and the sidewalk is you know, five six feet wide there’s no need to walk shoulder to shoulder you know, it’s a sidewalk traffic goes both ways. Who the fuck out the way? I mean, if I bump into you and you give me a look, you’re in a group. You know now you want to say something. But you know truth Behold, I saw that same guy at a grocery store. And he’s all quiet as a mouse. And I’m walking down the same aisle as you and you don’t say nothing to me. Where’s the energy at? You know, giving me dirty looks you want to like you know say what’s up and you know, tilt your chin up in the air like you got to do something when in front of your boys. But In the grocery store in the dairy aisle, you don’t want to say shit to me. You know keep up that same energy young buck
Calvin 1:01:05
because he’s lactose intolerant. That’s right.
Steve 1:01:12
That’s right on some yogurt real quick and then
Calvin 1:01:14
Yeah, dude just wanted to grab his yoplait, you know?
Mikko 1:01:19
hate that though.
Calvin 1:01:20
Yeah, no, I’m with you. Listen you know we went into that on the wish you were young episode. Exactly. But me and you don’t really do that. If I’m gonna say to you, I’m gonna do it. So you know, don’t come with that. Oh, in a group when you got to stage and audience you want to talk that shit make sure you talking that when its just you by yourself too
Mikko 1:01:40
exactly keep that same energy son. Keep that same energy a young buck.
Calvin 1:01:47
Oh, man. So mine is a call back to one of our more popular episodes. Thank you to the audience, the one that’s entitled “A podcast episode”, and you may recall that one my get off My lawn referred to a situation I dealt with on Instagram where a gentleman decided to try to tell me what content I should publish. And I had some choice words for him and he ended up being blocked. I’m not going to go into that whole part. Listen to that episode, I do a good job of getting every nitty gritty detail on that episode, but yesterday, I’m just you know, minding my business, and I get a notification on Instagram from an account called revpar fitness. So the synopsis to the the other part of the story is the guy was upset about me posting Fitbit content, and I basically told him go fuck himself, I don’t really care for your opinion. And he got attitude, I blocked him and I just moved on with my life. Apparently he didn’t. So so I get a notification on my story where somebody just kind of, you know, reacts to your story and Instagram to one of my Fitbit slides that I posted the other day or whatever. And I noticed like wait a second and I look at in the account is called revparfitness. And then so I click on it, and the bio was like, oh, follow me as I work out with my seven friends on Fitbit. And if you want to see more if you want to see more Fitbit related content, follow Revparblems I’m like, What a fucking loser. Idiot What a fucking loser. So I actually have to go back because it’s like, it’s like when you get into a rap battle or you know, a diss track, you got to have all the ammunition you got. Right. So I go back, apparently this conversation between me and him happened on August 1. He was blocked probably on August 2, by the time I like processed everything. I was like, Man, this guy’s a dick, whatever. So I went to this new account that he created. I just had to laugh because it’s like it’s it’s pathetic. It really is a pathetic attempt at trolling and just the amount of attention you must need as a human being is just sad actually. So he created this account on August 14. So you stewed on it for two weeks. And then decided, Oh, you know what I’m gonna do it my time I’m going to create a fake account to make fun of this guy, and blah blah blah. You know, I mean it takes a little bit of time and effort to create an account Instagram, you need a separate email then he had to go Google I guess some content because he couldn’t make anything himself. So you found two corny Fitbit means and posted those hashtag me and he tagged me in the bio and I didn’t see any of this for whatever reason. So I noticed that he did those posts on August 14. It’s September 13. as of the date of this recording, I saw this on the 12th. So that’s like a month after you posted it. I haven’t seen it. I haven’t paid you any attention. He made sure to go into my story over the weekend because he just needed me to see this. And it’s like Dude, how pathetic is your life? I had to just laugh out loud and I did respond to him. I was like dude, you take a lame to insane levels. You went and created a fake account to troll me realize nobody saw it. Nobody cares and I just I like look at it, please look at it like, fuck. What is wrong with you?
What is wrong with you and I’m gonna call him out his name is Danny. Right so Danny, Danny, Danny walk upstairs right now because I’m sure you’re listening to this too because you clearly on my dick heavy. So walk upstairs, delete the account move on with your life. Go upstairs, help your mom with the dishes, do some laundry, make something of yourself help out because we all you clearly live in your mom’s basement eating homemade sandwiches, eaten mayonnaise sandwiches,
Mikko 1:05:41
mayonnaise sandwiches.
Calvin 1:05:45
I mean, and maybe go up and have a conversation with her about all the love and attention you did not get as a kid because clearly you are starved for attention and quite frankly dude is pathetic. Alright, maybe go for a walk, you might bump into a girl Guy whatever it is you into meet somebody have a conversation go out and have a socially distance beer with somebody but get a fucking life bro.
Dave Dave Make sure to drop that bomb when I’m done with that.
Mikko 1:06:19
Get off his nutsack son
Calvin 1:06:21
what a fucking loser. Remember that it was like I wish these hoes get up off me. Yeah, dude get up off
Mikko 1:06:29
get up off of a brotha
Calvin 1:06:33
Let a playa play shit
Mikko 1:06:36
aint nobody trying to blow you
trying to blow orrin hatch Jesus Christ. Oh
Calvin 1:06:50
man well of course perfect segue into the Chris Rock quote of the week
Mikko 1:06:55
I got I got one I got one. This isn’t from a stand up. This is from the Champagne room. If you guys remember that music video, there was a part of that little skit or song that he had on there way says, if a woman tells you she’s 20 and look 16 she’s 12 if she tells you she’s 26 and she looks 26 she’s damn near 40
Calvin 1:07:24
that’s it’s funny. Oh,
Steve 1:07:27
that’s a good one.
Calvin 1:07:30
All right, I’m gonna go with this one because we talked about it early in the episode.
People want to get high. People want to get high. People think about getting high right now. Like damn how much longer is the show!? you know if you put a dead lima bean in a baby bottle a little gasoline, shake it up and suck it you’ll be fucked up!
Mikko 1:07:56
That’s true. That’s true. How do you make a bong out of anything?
Calvin 1:08:02
And also I don’t know if you guys know Chris Rock is going to be starring in the new Fargo TV series
Mikko 1:08:07
I saw that
Calvin 1:08:08
Coming out September 27. We’re getting paid for that. But we just were fans of Chris. So I’ve watched all of the Fargo seasons they’re excellent.
Steve 1:08:18
They’re excellent. That’s a killer show.
Calvin 1:08:21
Yeah, they’re excellent. So I’m excited about that. Nice. Steve you got one.
Steve 1:08:26
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
Mikko 1:08:31
Mm hmm.
Calvin 1:08:32
Yeah. Danny, Danny, Danny.
Steve 1:08:37
Danny seriously, get off his nuts
Calvin 1:08:41
ignant ass Danny fucking it up.
Oh, man. All right. Great episode, guys. Great talk. Went back in the days. It was good stuff. Good stuff. As always, this is Calvin. If you know me, you know. You can find me on Instagram. At Revparblems and all my related brands, if not, check out revparblems.com and get familiar.
Mikko 1:09:06
And this is Mikko. The Filipino, aka Mikko underscore eats on Instagram if you want to go look at some good foods and see where I’ve been eating at my fat ass be eating at. Come follow me at Mikko underscore eats on Instagram.
Steve 1:09:20
Hey everybody, and this is Steve you can hear me every Wednesday every Wednesday shit every Sunday with Calvin Mikko here in midlife crisis podcast
Calvin 1:09:30
episode actually comes out on Thursday so but pick any of them days to download it
Mikko 1:09:34
any of them.
Calvin 1:09:36
Alright, thank you for joining us on another episode of midlife crisis podcast. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please leave us a review on iTunes and make sure to tell a friend see what we’re up to in between episodes on Instagram at midlife crisis podcast. Show Notes for this and all episodes are available on midlife crisis podcast dot com where you can also sign up for the mailing list. Let us know what topics you’d like us to discuss, drop us a note. Thanks for tuning in, and we’ll catch you on the next one. Eat a dick Danny.
Mikko 1:10:08
Let’s go
